Ted Cruz Was Called ‘Lucifer In The Flesh’ By A Fellow Republican This Week — Now Satanists Are Offended At The Comparison! See Their HELL-arious Statement!

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You know it’s bad when even Satan worshippers say you’re too extreme…

And that’s the problem Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz must now confront, after a fellow politician called out his devilish ways in a viral rant!

Related: Remember Ted’s Sex Scandal?!

John Boehner, the former Republican Speaker of the House and a congressman from Ohio, was giving a talk at Stanford University on Wednesday night when a question came up about what the politician thought of the man Donald Trump calls “Lyin’ Ted.”

Boehner, uh, well… he didn’t exactly hold back in telling the audience what he thought of Cruz:

“Lucifer in the flesh. I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

Um… WOW!!! Tell us how you really feel, man…

But if you think that’s the only highlight, just wait — because things get SO much better!

Related: The Donald Attacks Cruz’s Wife Heidi!

After Boehner made his Lucifer comment, Satanists everywhere were like, wait, no, what?!

Lucien Greaves, a spokesperson for The Satanic Temple told Patheos:

“Boehner’s comment is illustrative of how well past time it is to adjust our mythologies to reflect our realities. Cruz’s failures of reason, compassion, decency, and humanity are products of his Christian pandering, if not an actual Christian faith. It grows tedious when pedophile priests and loathsome politicians are conveniently dismissed as Satanic, even as they spew biblical verse and prostrate themselves before the cross, recruiting the Christian faithful. Satanists will have nothing to do with any of them.”


Not. Holding. Back. At all!!!

So the Republican Party has huge problems when their only candidate who can still beat The Donald is so universally disliked by everybody that even Satanists say he’s too extreme for them!


[Image via ABC.]

Apr 29, 2016 12:04pm PDT

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