Ladies and gentlemen, it’s week three of The Bachelorette, or as we like to call it, the Chadelorette, because it’s ALL about Chad Johnson, the wacky luxury real estate agent from Tulsa.
Chad has been a little kooky the first two weeks of the show, but he stepped it up to a new level this week!
And it might all come to a head in the second-part of this two part special (airing tonight!!) when JoJo Fletcher decides whether or not to give him the boot!
But let’s explain why the axe is (probably) on its way…
Things were a little different this week in the first place with just one group date and two one-on-ones, and that meant from the top of the show, we got to see Chase a little more as JoJo picked him for their first alone time together.
They went to a hot yoga studio, climbed all over each other, made out while they were sweaty on the floor — you know, normal first date stuff! LOLz!!
Chase is fine. He’s strong, silent, hot. He’s not bad or anything, he’s just… kinda boring. He’s no Chad! Ha!!!
But they had a good makeout sesh, and Chase walked away with a rose. JoJo’s into him, and while he’s probably not a frontrunner, you can’t discount a guy that flexible…
The week’s group date went down at a comedy club, and a dozen guys went out with JoJo to talk about sex in front of each other, and, well, the whole world. It was totes awks. But funny!
The only guy who didn’t want to be a part of it? Surprise, surprise… it was Chad.
After learning he’d been picked for the group date and not a one-on-one, the dude had a temper tantrum saying to the other guys:
“Honestly I’d rather not go. I’d rather you guys go, do your thing, and I’ll get a one-on-one later.”
The other guys predictably tore him to shreds over that ridiculous comment, and after they did, Chad went after Jordan, one of the ringleaders in criticizing him for being ungrateful, by fighting back:
“Are you trying to insinuate that I’m stupid, Jordan? You’re a 27-year-old failed football player. You’ve done nothing with your life other than throw a piece of leather.”
Remember folks, the man who said this sells luxury apartments in the second-biggest city in Oklahoma.
At the date, after a bunch of the guys told funny sex stories, it was Evan who decided to stand up to Chad — yes, Evan, the diminutive erectile dysfunction expert!
He told a ‘story’ about the dangers of taking steroids, effectively accusing Chad in front of the whole group of being a major douche, and afterwards Chad lunged forward at him and ripped Evan’s shirt in an altercation!!!
No fighting, boys!!!
JoJo also wasn’t feeling the drama, and evidently, neither was Evan, the guy who started it all — but more on that in a minute.
When it was Chad’s turn to get up on stage, he didn’t do a routine like the other guys, didn’t seem like he wanted to play around at all, and simply called JoJo up to the stage… and tried to kiss her in front of everybody.
Predictably, she turned her cheek to the side, and turned Chad down for the public kiss! Ohhhh!! The guys all went crazy, of course — and Chad got the public rejection he so desperately deserved.
Backstage after their comedy show, Chad punched a door, bloodying his knuckles in the process, and threatened Evan. Not a good look, pal. Not a good look.
It was a big deal, too — big enough that Chris Harrison actually had to talk to Chad after words and get him straightened out. Let’s see if that actually works, though…
That evening, Chad spent his whole time interrupting other guys’ moments with JoJo, until he finally got his one-on-one time. It wasn’t particularly memorable, but what was notable was his adversary: during Evan’s alone time with the bachelorette, he gave JoJo a pretty serious ultimatum — either Chad goes or I go.
JoJo ended up dismissing the ultimatum, but she did give Evan the group date rose (!!!), which means… maybe Chad will get eliminated?? Only time will tell.
When Chad found out Evan got the rose — in front of the entire group — he had a meltdown and questioned JoJo to her face about why she picked Evan. But JoJo wasn’t taking any of Chad’s crap any more, and she fired right back at him to answer whether or not she was “vibing” Evan, as Chad put it:
“Yeah, and I don’t appreciate what you’re doing. Don’t be disrespectful, I don’t like that. You are being disrespectful and I don’t like this side of you.”
Before we can get to elimination though, we should mention James T., who has been killin’ the game lately.
He got the second one-on-one date with JoJo, and the two went retro, dressed up in old school clothes, and took ballroom dancing lessons.
Of course, James was his charming-ass self, and he’s seriously a frontrunner for Miz Fletcher’s heart. LOVE him!!!
Back in the house before elimination, the boys tell ABC producers they need a security guard to patrol around since Chad is so unstable. No, seriously. ABC hired a security guard to observe Chad while sleeping. Because this show isn’t already awkward enough, right?!
Even Chad’s lone buddy in the house, Canadian creeper Daniel, tried to unfriend him and distance himself from the walking disaster zone, telling Chad to tone it down a notch while comparing him to Hitler.
The cocktail party was canceled, per JoJo’s orders — at least according to Mr. Harrison — but the good news is, the bachelorette is going to spend an entire day with the fellas to see who she wants to eliminate this week!
The bad news?! Well, it goes down tonight, on part two of the show!
Chad was clearly feeling good about it with his strategy for the elimination day group hangout:
“I’m going to cut everyone here’s legs off and arms off and there’s going to be torsos and I’m going to throw them in the pool and I’m going to f*ck up this entire damn thing.”
Tune back in to ABC tonight at 8 p.m. ET to watch the elimination round and more on The Bachelorette — maybe it’s Chad’s week to go!!
What’d U think of last night’s episode?! Let us know in the comments (below)!!!
[Image via ABC.]