JoJo ain’t messin’ around.
After last week’s cliffhanger ending, we were expecting JoJo Fletcher to finish out Monday night’s episode with a few painful losses… but this may have been the biggest culling of contestants in Bachelorette history!
As you probably already saw, resident supervillain Chad Johnson clearly did not take his two-on-one elimination very well, because he started off the episode by returning to the suitor mansion just to mess with some of the guys.
Meat in hand, Chad “Not Ochocinco” Johnson made quick work of Jordan Rodgers‘ less-than-stellar intelligence and Evan Bass‘ ruined shirt before FINALLY leaving our TV screens for good.
You know, until the Men Tell All special, at least…
Luckily for Bachelor Nation, it didn’t take the full two hours to get into Rose Ceremony No. 1, where we were a bit sad to see cool, calm, and collected James Fuertes — and the complete opposite of that, Daniel Maguire — pack their bags. (Maybe you’ll be the season’s villain on Bachelor in Paradise instead, Danny!)
Now that last week’s loose ends had been tied up, JoJo decided to take her 11 remaining men to the most romantic International destination of all time… Punta Del Este, Uruguay.
Okay, producers. Strange pick.
Still, the South American country did offer a nice backdrop for JoJo and Jordan’s half-awkward, half-sexy solo date. (Seriously, are they even trying to include any of the other guys anymore?)
What made it awkward, you ask? Well, that would be the fact that JoJo decided to bring up one of Jordan’s
MANY ex-girlfriends and put him right on the spot!!!
Unfortunately for fans of honesty, Jordan is a professional athlete, which means he knows how to cheat and get away with it — he received a rose, duh.
But the former NFLer wasn’t the only one with a shady past… because someone went ahead and gave the other ten guys a copy of a tell-all interview from JoJo’s arch-nemisis: Chad Rookstool!
Despite Chad 1.0’s best efforts, the Bachelorette managed to calm her men down with a simple, “I don’t ever want a single one of you guys to think I’m faking this.”
That’s all it takes nowadays?? Good to know.
Also, does it make JoJo basic that she attracts SO MANY different Chads?? Asking for a friend.
The group date this time around was a bit of a bore, with Derek Peth (who?) getting the rose… much to the disdain of Jordan, Alex Wotykiw, Chase McNary, and Robby Hayes.
In fact, the foursome teamed up on Derek for seemingly no reason, with Alex going as far as calling him an “insecure little b*tch.”
We get it, Alex. Your d*ck is bigger.
But speaking of Robby, he apparently thought it was a good idea to confess his love to JoJo after a little over a month of dating… but hey, at least she gave him a rose instead of sending him home right then and there! (NOTE: We are not fans of such obvious ploys to become the future Bachelor, Robby…)
The over-stuffed episode came to a rather satisfying end as JoJo bid farewell to Evan, Vinny Ventiera, and Grant Kemp, meaning we’re officially down to our Final Eight… and one week closer to watching Jordan win the
trophy JoJo’s heart.
Who do U want to see get eliminated next week on The Bachelorette??
[Image via ABC.]