Don’t be insecure!!
Easier said than done, of course, but it appears that’s the lesson to learn if you watched last night’s ep of The Bachelorette — because if you are insecure about, say, being eliminated, JoJo Fletcher might just have to eliminate you!
The beautiful leading lady and her harem of men headed off to Buenos Aires, Argentina for this ep, and with a surprising one-on-one date and a cutting two-on-one — oh, plus a controversial final rose ceremony, too — it was definitely a must-watch!
Things started off with the one-on-one with Wells, that cute little radio DJ from Nashville.
The poor guy hadn’t kissed JoJo yet, which, buddy, come ON!!! So we all knew that tonight was the night for Wells to get his smooch on, only… he didn’t.
Well, he kind of did by the end of the date, but it wasn’t at the start when the pair went on to the Fuerza Bruta stage to try their hand at a sexy Latin dance.
The couple ended up in this crazy, cool levitating pool (sans most of their clothes), and even then it took the poor guy quite a bit of awkward fumbling to actually work up the courage to kiss the girl!
Where’s a singing Jamaican crab when you need one?
There was an awkward peck on the cheek followed by a high five (SRSLY?!!!), but that wasn’t what did Wells in — what killed him was his skeptical outlook on love that he showed off during their dinner after the date.
No girl — especially no girl on this show — wants to hear you don’t believe in love. No girl. So yeah — no, girl. Buh-bye.
With Wells gone, it was time for the group date — so let’s bring on Jordan, Alex, Robby, Luke, and James!
Right away, though, something was off with James. The poor guy said he felt pretty inadequate from the start, which is a weird thing to say — especially this late in the game:
“I really do feel like I snuck onto a set that I’m not supposed to be on.”
So everybody else enjoyed the date, while good ol’ James was weirdly stuck with his insecurities all day — definitely something we haven’t seen from him before.
Even more shocking, during his alone time with JoJo during drinks later, he tried to turn her against Jordan (supposedly his best buddy in the house!) by warning her of a “new side” he’d seen of the former pro football player during a card game.
His rant was weird and desperate, and JoJo took it all in, only to… immediately tell Jordan during their alone time together! LOLz!!
Jordan was pissed, but it was Luke who took home the rose from the one-on-one. That’s probably because JoJo was ALL. OVER. HIM.
So, about that physical chemistry, eh Wells??
The week’s two-on-one date also brought some serious drama, when JoJo took Derek and Chase to dance tango with her.
Chase was stiff and serious, while Derek went for passion — JoJo just went to audition for Dancing With The Stars, we think — and early on it looked like Chase was going to be the odd man out.
At dinner, JoJo dropped a bomb on Derek: the passion you showed today was too little, too late, and Chase’s emotional pleas late in the date were enough to sway her. Rose: Chase. Gone: Derek. Crying: Derek!
As the poor guy left the house, he started bawling in the limo, and the most amazing part is that ABC set the whole thing to Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina.
That’s just cruel, producers!!
Finally, though, we get to the rose ceremony.
Derek’s already gone, Wells is already gone, and over the course of the entire night, we’d all been led to believe that JoJo would eliminate two more guys, but…
Nobody else got cut.
When it came time to hand out that final rose — it was between James and Alex — JoJo ran off the set and handed the rose to host Chris Harrison. When Chris returned, he had a damn tray with two roses on it, and that means both James and Alex stick around.
What do U think of the final non-ceremony rose ceremony?! Should James or Alex have gone home tonight?!
Does JoJo just need more time to make up her mind??
Let us know in the comments (below) — and check out The Bachelorette with us again next Monday at 8:00 p.m. ET on ABC!
[Image via ABC.]