Halsey Reveals Secret Pregnancy & Miscarriage: ‘I Beat Myself Up For It’

Halsey opens up to Rolling Stone.

Whether through her music or her Twitter, Halsey is no stranger to being honest.

You might remember the Colors songstress previously opened up about her suicide attempt when she was 17.

Well, continuing to be candid, the 21-year-old spoke with Rolling Stone for a new interview, and revealed only a year ago she got pregnant while on tour.

Sadly, she suffered a miscarriage.

Related: Courtney Stodden Grieves Baby Lost To Miscarriage In Emotional Letter

Halsey divulged to writer Alex Morris, who has written an article for RS about her own experience with suffering a miscarriage:

“I felt like I was suffocating reading that article. Like someone put a shopping bag over my head. I didn’t want to meet you at all. I was really terrified of you, because I knew as soon as I saw you, I was going to need to tell you that last year on tour I got pregnant.”

The blue-haired beauty continued, explaining:

“What happens? Do I lose my record deal? Do I lose everything? Or do I keep [the pregnancy]? What are the fans going to think? What are the moms going to think? What is the Midwest going to think? What’s f*cking everyone going to think?”

It wasn’t long before she lost the baby… only hours before performing for Vevo LIFT.

Halsey, AKA Ashley Nicolette Frangipane, ended up following through with the show after taking two Percocet and sending her assistant to pick up adult diapers.

She shared:

“It’s the angriest performance that I’ve ever done in my life. That was the moment of my life where I thought to myself, ‘I don’t feel like a fucking human being anymore.’ This thing, this music, Halsey, whatever it is that I’m doing, took precedence and priority over every decision that I made regarding this entire situation from the moment I found out until the moment it went wrong. I walked offstage and went into the parking lot and just started throwing up.”

We can’t even imagine!

Still, the New Jersey-native struggles with the loss:

“I beat myself up for it because I think that the reason it happened is just the lifestyle I was living. I wasn’t drinking. I wasn’t doing drugs. I was f*cking overworked ├óΓé¼ΓÇ£ in the hospital every couple of weeks because I was dehydrated, needing bags of IVs brought to my greenroom. I was anemic, I was fainting. My body just broke the f*ck down… I want to be a mom more than I want to be a pop star. More than I want to be anything in the world… I’m really scared of being alone.”

It’s not easy being so honest.

The rising starlet also opened up about being kicked out of her parent’s home, dealing with fame, and more. Keep reading (below):

On living without a home: “I remember one time I had $9 in my bank account and bought a four-pack of Red Bull and used it to stay up overnight over the course of two or three days, because it was less dangerous to not sleep than it was to sleep somewhere random and maybe get raped or kidnapped.”
On life before fame: “It’s, like, 19 years of my life feel like they don’t even f├óΓé¼┬ócking matter. They could’ve just not happened, like they were some weird incubatory period. I’m just this f*cked-up stoner kid who made it. I was buying my clothes at T.J. Maxx, then woke up one day and was going to L.A. to film music videos. It’s a good thing I’m a crazy b*tch, because I don’t think I’d be able to handle it if I wasn’t, you know?”

On getting hate: “The funniest thing is that the biggest battle that I’ve had to overcome in my career was not being bisexual, was not being biracial, was not being bipolar. It was everybody thinking that I was exploiting those things.”

On dealing with the fame: “I’ve been through some sh*t. And all of this sh*t keeps happening. I haven’t had the time to figure it out. You have to decide what’s most important to you. Do you want to feel the good and enjoy the good, but also feel the bad and risk f*cking up your career because you can’t handle the bad? Or do you not want to feel the bad and keep your career going, but also not feel the good either? If I actually let myself feel and process and understand everything that’s happened to me in the past two years, I would f*cking combust.”

You can read the rest of her interview HERE.

[Image via WENN.]

Jul 28, 2016 4:03pm PDT

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