Poor Patton Oswalt.
The actor’s wife Michelle McNamara passed away suddenly in April, and he is still struggling to cope with the devastating loss.
On Monday, the comedian took to Facebook to explain that he’s feeling consumed with grief even months after the true crime author died in her sleep.
The 47-year-old penned a powerful post, admitting that his grief is far more intense than depression, which is also incredibly difficult to live with:
Thanks for making depression look like the buzzing little bully it always was. Depression is the tallest kid in the 4th grade, dinging rubber bands off the back of your head and feeling safe on the playground, knowing that no teacher is coming to help you.
But grief? Grief is Jason Statham holding that 4th grade bully’s head in a toilet and then f*cking the teacher you’ve got a crush on in front of the class. Grief makes depression cower behind you and apologize for being such a d*ck.”
We can’t imagine how the famous father must be feeling. He continued to poignantly describe his severe suffering, writing:
“If you spend 102 days completely focused on ONE thing you can achieve miracles. Make a film, write a novel, get MMA ripped, kick heroin, learn a language, travel around the world. Fall in love with someone. Get ’em to love you back.
But 102 days at the mercy of grief and loss feels like 102 years and you have sh*t to show for it. You will not be physically healthier. You will not feel ‘wiser.’ You will not have ‘closure.’ You will not have ‘perspective’ or ‘resilience’ or ‘a new sense of self.’ You WILL have solid knowledge of fear, exhaustion and a new appreciation for the randomness and horror of the universe. And you’ll also realize that 102 days is nothing but a warm-up for things to come.”
The United States Of Tara alum did confess that he’s incredibly grateful for the love and support he’s received since Michelle’s tragic passing.
He also remembered his late love, and the things and people she’s left behind.
The grieving comedian also announced that he will work to finish the book Michelle had been working on when she died, and revealed that he’s very, very slowly starting to heal:
“I was face-down and frozen for weeks. It’s 102 days later and I can confidently say I have reached a point where I’m crawling. Which, objectively, is an improvement. Maybe 102 days later I’ll be walking.”
He also expressed that he plans to go back to work eventually, but first he is still learning to cope:
“And I’m going to start telling jokes again soon. And writing. And acting in stuff and making things I like and working with friends on projects and do all the stuff I was always so privileged to get to do before the air caught fire around me and the sun died. It’s all I knew how to do before I met Michelle. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do now without her.
And not because, ‘It’s what Michelle would have wanted me to do.’ For me to even presume to know what Michelle would have wanted me to do is the height of arrogance on my part. That was one of the many reasons I so looked forward to growing old with her. Because she was always surprising me. Because I never knew what she’d think or what direction she’d go.
Okay, I’ll start being funny again soon. What other choice do I have? Reality is in a death spiral and we seem to be living in a cackling, looming nightmare-swamp. We’re all being dragged into a shadow-realm of doom by hateful lunatics who are determined to send our planet careening into oblivion.”
Our hearts are absolutely breaking for Patton, but we’re very thankful he shared such an emotional message with the world.
You can see his full post (below):
[Image via WENN.]