A+ for effort, eh!
In a story that proves the U.S. isn’t the only crazy country in North America of Canada, a former Royal Canadian Mint employee named Leston Lawrence (above) smuggled $165,000 worth of gold out of his place of employment between 2014 and 2015.
In his BUTT!
Before we get to the nitty gritty of this butt-tastic tale, it helps to understand exactly how Lawrence got all this gold to stuff up his hiney.
According to a report, the creative perp’s job entailed purifying gold, jewelry, coins, and bars purchased by the mint, which manufacturers all of Canada’s coins to be used in everyday circulation.
To purify the gold, Leston would inject a molten vat with chlorine gas and then skim off the base metal until the molten gold was 99.5 per cent pure. He would then be responsible for letting the gold cool so he could later test it for purity.
Once the gold was confirmed to be pure, he was supposed to return the cooled nuggets back to the vat of molten gold… which obviously did NOT happen to all the nuggets.
Authorities claim Lawrence stole these purified “pucks” so he could smuggle them out of the mint, which was insanely easy for him to do considering there were NO security cameras in his locker room. Not to mention the thief worked entirely alone!
A prosecutor went on to explain:
“His locker contained Vaseline and latex gloves, which could have been used to insert a puck into his rectum.”
Yep, we think the evidence is pretty solid here!
But wait, what about the metal detectors? Surely the mint has SOME safety precautions!
Per court testimony, Leston set off metal detectors TWENTY EIGHT times between December 2014 and March 2015, more than any other employee without a metal implant. When handheld detectors also failed to miss the precious metal hidden in the perp’s butt, he was allowed to leave.
Luckily for the mint, Lawrence was FINALLY caught after one of the stores he tried to sell the gold to contacted authorities after learning where he worked. You could say they became stool pigeons!
By that point, the criminal had already sold about $145K worth of gold to the store.
On Wednesday, a jury found Leston guilty of smuggling charges; he’s to be sentenced on November 28. How long do YOU think he should spend in the hole?
[Image via Royal Canadian Mint.]