Donald Trump Can’t Help But Make His Black History Month Celebration All About Himself — Watch!

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Did you guys know that Black History Month is actually about Donald Trump???

Our newly-elected POTUS hosted a “little breakfast” to “honor” the history of African-Americans, and he of course took this as an opportunity to praise himself (a wealthy, upper class, white businessman who pulled himself up from the bootstraps of a million dollar loan) and blast CNN.

Because that seems appropriate to what Dr. King would have wanted.

Related: Hillary Clinton Will Discuss 2016 Election In New Book

So, here’s what we heard in Drumpf’s speech:

— He’s SO proud of his election victory.

— Everything he knows about the African-American community, he learned from Ben Carson, his Housing and Urban Development secretary pick and probably the only person of color he knows aside from Omarosa.

— Donald couldn’t say TWO FREAKING SENTENCES about Martin Luther King, Jr. without talking about himself and his feud with “fake news” sources.

— He LOVES Fox News because they’ve “treated me very nice.” Oh, and CNN sucks because they haven’t.

— At the end, Trump opens up the room to have people shower him with praise. We can’t make this up!!!

Watch the train wreck for yourself (below)!

And you can read the entire transcript via Deadspin (below):

“Well, the election, it came out really well. Next time we’ll triple the number or quadruple it. We want to get it over 51, right? At least 51.

Well this is Black History Month, so this is our little breakfast, our little get-together. Hi Lynn, how are you? Just a few notes. During this month, we honor the tremendous history of African-Americans throughout our country. Throughout the world, if you really think about it, right? And their story is one of unimaginable sacrifice, hard work, and faith in America. I’ve gotten a real glimpse├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥during the campaign, I’d go around with Ben to a lot of different places I wasn’t so familiar with. They’re incredible people. And I want to thank Ben Carson, who’s gonna be heading up HUD. That’s a big job. That’s a job that’s not only housing, but it’s mind and spirit. Right, Ben? And you understand, nobody’s gonna be better than Ben.

Last month, we celebrated the life of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., whose incredible example is unique in American history. You read all about Dr. Martin Luther King a week ago when somebody said I took the statue out of my office. It turned out that that was fake news. Fake news. The statue is cherished, it’s one of the favorite things in the├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥and we have some good ones. We have Lincoln, and we have Jefferson, and we have Dr. Martin Luther King. But they said the statue, the bust of Martin Luther King, was taken out of the office. And it was never even touched. So I think it was a disgrace, but that’s the way the press is. Very unfortunate.”

We just…

WHAT??

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If you’re playing the drinking game of taking a swig every time Trump mentions his personal success or “fake news,” congratulations on being drunk already.

But brace yourself because he continued:

“I am very proud now that we have a museum on the National Mall where people can learn about Reverend King, so many other things. Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I noticed. Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, and millions more black Americans who made America what it is today. Big impact.

I’m proud to honor this heritage and will be honoring it more and more. The folks at the table in almost all cases have been great friends and supporters. Darrell├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥I met Darrell when he was defending me on television. And the people that were on the other side of the argument didn’t have a chance, right? And Paris has done an amazing job in a very hostile CNN community. He’s all by himself. You’ll have seven people, and Paris. And I’ll take Paris over the seven. But I don’t watch CNN, so I don’t get to see you as much as I used to. I don’t like watching fake news. But Fox has treated me very nice. Wherever Fox is, thank you.

We’re gonna need better schools and we need them soon. We need more jobs, we need better wages, a lot better wages. We’re gonna work very hard on the inner city. Ben is gonna be doing that, big league. That’s one of the big things that you’re gonna be looking at. We need safer communities and we’re going to do that with law enforcement. We’re gonna make it safe. We’re gonna make it much better than it is right now. Right now it’s terrible, and I saw you talking about it the other night, Paris, on something else that was really├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥you did a fantastic job the other night on a very unrelated show.

I’m ready to do my part, and I will say this: We’re gonna work together. This is a great group, this is a group that’s been so special to me. You really helped me a lot. If you remember I wasn’t going to do well with the African-American community, and after they heard me speaking and talking about the inner city and lots of other things, we ended up getting├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥and I won’t go into details├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥but we ended up getting substantially more than other candidates who had run in the past years. And now we’re gonna take that to new levels. I want to thank my television star over here├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥Omarosa’s actually a very nice person, nobody knows that. I don’t want to destroy her reputation but she’s a very good person, and she’s been helpful right from the beginning of the campaign, and I appreciate it. I really do. Very special.”

Ugh. This is going to be a very long four years

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Feb 1, 2017 1:01pm PDT

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