Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You To Live Your Best Life For $90 A Month!

Gwyneth Paltrow releases Goop Wellness.

Oh hell, here we go again.

Gwyneth Paltrow has taught us how to steam vajayjays and “consciously uncouple,” in addition to selling us some of the most incomprehensibly weird and expensive items EVER, and now she’s got our health on her mind.

Related: Gwynnie Tries A Goat Milk Cleanse

The actress and Goop founder has just announced the release of Goop Wellness, a monthly multi-vitamin regimen that promises to make women feel less tired and more productive in their lives. She cares, people!

The vitamins are given wacky names like, “Why Am I So Effing Tired?” “The Mother Load,” “High School Genes,” and “Balls In The Air,” and cost $90 for a monthly pack and $240 for a three-month pack.

These supplements were also rigorously vetted and formulated by actual doctors, so you know they’re legit. Or they should be anyway.

Per the website:

“The vitamin aisle is overwhelming├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥not only is it difficult to determine which to take, there are well-founded concerns about what’s actually in them, which range from whether supplements contain what they claim, to questions about ingredient quality (and occasionally toxicity). We are making it simple: Doctor-defined protocols for four acute needs (that also cover the basics), crafted from meticulously sourced and tested raw ingredients.”

Dr. Alejandro Junger, the founder of a detox plan called Clean Program, was apparently behind the whole thing:

“Forever ahead of the curve, Dr. Junger’s expertise on the oft-misunderstood energy drain known as adrenal fatigue was invaluable to engineering a vitamin/supplement regimen that could help to actually rebalance the pervasively, perpetually overtaxed system. (As was his keen understanding of Eastern medicine├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥many of the selected ingredients were sourced from ancient Ayurveda.)”

Hocus pocus, or totally cool thing we should all try? We don’t know!

Are you a hardcore GP disciple? Consider buying the vitamins HERE!

Or, like, totally don’t buy them. Either way.

[Image via Dave Bedrosian/Future Image/WENN.]

Mar 20, 2017 12:57pm PST

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