Is Pirates Of The Caribbean Just A Ghost Of A Franchise?? See What Tales Critics Are Telling In Our Review Roundup!

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Dead Men Tell No Tales, but critics sure as shit do! And like Javier Bardem‘s ghost pirate Salazar, they seem out for Johnny Depp‘s blood.

Yep, reviews for the fifth installment of Pirates Of The Caribbean are coming in, and so far it’s not going swimmingly for Captain Jack’s return.

Related: Orlando Bloom Defends Johnny Depp, ‘The Man That I Know And Love’

As of this writing, the sequel has a 33% on Rotten Tomatoes, with many critics bemoaning Depp’s uninspired performance and the rehashed plot. And then there are the negative reviews…

Ch-ch-check out what the critics are saying (below)!

Ellie Walker-Arnott, Time Out: “Whatever charm and charisma Johnny Depp once had is well and truly lost at sea.”

John DeFore, The Hollywood Reporter: “Depp remains wholeheartedly the focus of this fifth Pirates film, and saying the character’s loopy novelty has faded is like complaining that there are maggots in the below-decks gruel: You knew what you were getting when you came aboard.”

Dan Jolin, Empire: “…even the once-reliable Johnny can’t distract us like he used to. Jack’s shtick has consumed the character. Where once he was an engaging oddity whose unhinged mannerisms you felt cloaked hidden (and sober) depths, Jack now feels like a routine rather than a person.”

Matt Prigge, Metro: “It takes a ton of plot, too many characters and scene after scene after scene of people standing around talking exposition to get Salazar and Sparrow back together, at which point it just pelts them with endless CGI nonsense.”

Mike Ryan, Uproxx: “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man Tell No Tales is practically incoherent. I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the ‘plot,’ but it’s been futile. I’ve asked literally eight other people who saw this movie to answer a couple specific questions and no one has been able to do it.”

But hey, there’s positive too. Kinda.

Brian Truitt, USA Today: “…has its rocky moments but also offers an engaging tale with family legacies, above-average swashbuckling and a fantastic new villain courtesy of Javier Bardem.”

Leah Greenblatt, Entertainment Weekly: “Five films in, Pirates still leaves you feeling a lot like the Magic Kingdom ride it’s so famously inspired by: alternately thrilled, exhausted, and seriously regretting that last funnel cake.”

Mike McCahill, The Guardian: “Dead Men Tell No Tales moves at a faster rate of knots than any Pirates film; trouble is, nothing has really been added. It’s the same soggy ride, set to a marginally preferable speed.”

Andrew Barker, Variety: “Lackluster as it is, Dead Men Tell No Tales is not an aggressively unpleasant time at the cinema.”

Jim Vejvoda, IGN: “The film’s biggest positive is that it ultimately has enough heart and offers enough closure for the Pirates franchise to end on not a high note, but less of a low one, should Disney decide this is the final voyage for Captain Jack Sparrow and his mates. And they probably should.”

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales hits theaters everywhere on Friday, May 26.

[Image via Disney.]

May 22, 2017 3:19pm PDT

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