Game Of Thrones Gives Us A Stark Family Reunion, A Hot Hookup Tease, & An Even HOTTER Battle Scene! Get The Recap!

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The bad news: this season of Game of Thrones is already halfway over. The better news: Season 7’s midpoint ended with a kick ass, fire-breathing battle.

But the best news: we finally got our mother fucking Stark family reunion, y’all!!!!

Related: Game Of Thrones Hackers Threaten To Leak Even More!

Sunday’s fiery hour of the HBO fantasy hit gave fans almost everything they wanted — including Arya back at Winterfell, an intimate cave scene that would make Ygritte jealous, and Daenerys finally taking Westeros by Stormborn.

Read our recap of Episode 4: The Spoils of War (below)! [Spoils!]

The Wolfpack Is Back

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It’s been six long years of hiding out, bad haircuts, and learning how to be an assassin — but Arya Stark (Maisie Williams) has finally returned to her home in the North. After being held at the gates of Winterfell by two annoying guards who don’t believe she’s who she says she is (OMG, just let her IN!) a girl has a lukewarm reunion with her big sis Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner).

The Stark girls have an intimate catch up — Sansa’s now Lady of the North, Arya’s killed dozens of enemies on her list, etc., etc. — before Sansa shares that another sibling has returned home: Bran (Isaac Hempstead-Wright).

Arya’s reunion with Bran The Three Eyed Raven is slightly less awkward than his oh-BTW-I-know-about-that-time-you-got-raped chat with Sansa in last week’s episode. He gifts Arya with a sexy new dagger and mentions her list, making Sansa realize he might not be lying about this whole clairvoyant thing after all.

The coolest part of Arya’s homecoming is when she challenges Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie) to some friendly sword combat. After flattering Brienne by pointing out she’s the only person at Winterfell who defeated The Hound, Arya shows off the deadly skills she picked up over the past few seasons. Who taught her such badass moves? “No one.” (LOL, get it?)

Fire And Ice Get Cozy

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The King in the North is still down south, and things are starting to heat up at Dragonstone. Jon Snow (Kit Harington) gives Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) a tour of the dragonglass caves he’s about to mine to make weapons in hopes of defeating the White Walkers. Though, there’s another discovery he wants to show the Mother of Dragons: a secret chamber full of petroglyphs drawn by the mystical Children of the Forest.

According to the wall art, which features the same symbols the Walkers like to rearrange corpses in, the Children of the Forest fought alongside Man to defeat the common enemy. Jon explains this to Dany, and she swears to join his fight — as soon as he bends the knee. (Each time she says this sounds more sexual.) Are we allowed to ship this secret aunt-nephew pairing? Because the heat between them could melt the Wall!

After getting all hot and bothered in the cave, Dany receives some bad news about her Unsullied army storming Casterly Rock — Cersei Lannister’s (Lena Headey) army wasn’t there, but a fleet of enemy Greyjoy ships was. The Lannister army was instead preparing for a siege, stockpiling all the kingdom’s resources inside the walls of King’s Landing.

Realizing that a Dothraki army is useless without food to feed them, Dany impulsively vows to fly her dragons to the Red Keep and send the enemy ablaze. Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) advises against it, so Dany asks Jon his opinion — which is essentially to cool off and think of another plan.

But the advice Dany ends up taking was that of Olenna Tyrell (R.I.P.) a few episodes ago: “Be a dragon.”

Dracarys Inferno

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The Lannister army, overseen by Jaime Lannister (Nicolaj Coster-Waldau) and Bronne (Jerome Flynn), transports a wagon caravan containing the spoils of war toward King’s Landing. Not fast enough, however, as they suddenly hear the war cry of the Dothraki army closing in.

The Lannister men fall into a wall formation, but are caught off guard by another winged enemy — Drogon flying overhead with Dany, who barbecues the human barrier with the simple command, “Dracarys.”

The battlefield gets intense, as the wagons — and many, many soldiers — go up in flames while the Dothraki take care of the enemy on the ground. Bronn manages to locate Qyburn’s giant, dragon-piercing crossbow and fires a shot at Drogon. The wounded dragon plummets to the ground, where Dany struggles to remove the arrow.

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Seeing a vulnerable Mother of Dragons, Jaime attempts to live up to his “Kingslayer” moniker and charges at her with a spear. Of course, that doesn’t end well for him. Drogon protects his mother and hocks up a fire blast right in Jaime’s face — who gets knocked off his horse (by Bronn or Dickon Tarly, we assume) at the last second and safely plunges into the river.

The last we see is Jaime sinking into the water with his heavy armor. We’re sure he’s still alive, but Cersei is not gonna be happy when she finds out her brother/lover got roasted by a dragon.

Next week is gonna be lit!!!!

[Image via HBO.]

Aug 7, 2017 10:52am PDT

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