He’s really leaning in to this whole disgraced White House thing!!
While the entire interview was cringe-worthy, we decided to pull awkward highlights so you don’t have to sit through the entire thing. Because we did, and lost over 14 minutes of our lives.
1. The Mooch compared himself to Arya Stark from Game of Thrones.
He shared, “I’m like Arya Stark, I took a list of all your comedy writers for my kill list.” The audience did not laugh, but Stephen responded, “So you’re comedically threatening to kill the people who work for me?”
Trump’s former puppet explained, “I’m not allowed to joke anymore, I’ve learned that.” Umm. Yeah. Probably not a good idea to joke about killing people. Ever.
2. Anthony shared Trump (who lest not forget, FIRED him after 11 days) is a “super compassionate person.”
OK WHAT NOW. Even though his actions show otherwise, Scaramucci had this to say about President Cheeto, “[The firing] was super rough on me, it’s super rough on [Trump]. But he’s a super compassionate person. It’s a super tough job, he made a step to give up a luxurious lifestyle.”
We’re sorry, but we have zero compassion towards a compassionless man.
3. “I thought I’d last longer than like a carton of milk.”
LMAO. Mooch revealed, “When you take a job like that you know your expiration date is coming. I didn’t think I would last too long, but I thought I’d last longer than like a carton of milk. If you bought your eggs and you were cooking them the day I got fired, it was totally fine, right?”
4. The former Washington resident claimed he’s an honest person.
Yeah, no shit. We all read your New Yorker piece! He shared with Colbert, “You know this, ok? You just feel it from me, I’m an honest person.” The host quickly disagreed, “Wait a second. Don’t use me as a character witness for you. I don’t know. I met you like five minutes ago.” AWKWARD TURTLE!!
5. He actually brought Colbert the promised knife.
If you remember, Scaramucci tweeted he would bring the late night host a “professionally monogrammed front stabbing knife”
The actual blade, encased in a glass box, was explained by saying, “After he hit me so hard for three weeks, he thought I was going to stab him with that. That’s why it’s in the hermetically sealed case.” EEP.
Ch-ch-check out the full awkward as FUCK appearance (below)!
[Image via Instagram.]