Presidential Fantasy Draft: Our Top Picks!

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It’s that time of year again!

Your job is to create the greatest United States of America possible during the ever important draft — and you want the best of the best for your life and livelihood team, right?!

We so brilliantly decided to create a cheat sheet since the team you chose in November 2016 SUCKS HARD! Seriously, most of y’all royally fucked up. Looking at you, “electoral college”!

Ch-ch-check out our picks for Team White House (below)!

President: Barack Obama

Vice President: Joe Biden

Department of State: Secretary John Kerry

Department of the Treasury: Secretary Jack Lew

Department of Defense: Secretary Ashton Carter

Department of Justice: Attorney General Loretta E. Lynch

Department of the Interior: Secretary Sally Jewell

Department of Agriculture: Secretary Thomas J. Vilsack

Department of Commerce: Secretary Penny Pritzker

Department of Labor: Secretary Thomas E. Perez

Department of Health and Human Services: Secretary Sylvia Mathews Burwell

Department of Housing and Urban Development: Secretary Julián Castro

Department of Transportation: Secretary Anthony Foxx

Department of Energy: Secretary Ernest Moniz

Department of Education: Secretary John King

Department of Veterans Affairs: Secretary Robert McDonald

Department of Homeland Security: Secretary Jeh Johnson

Chief of Staff: Denis McDonough

Environmental Protection Agency: Administrator Gina McCarthy

Office of Management & Budget: Director Shaun L.S. Donovan

United States Trade Representative: Ambassador Michael Froman

United States Mission to the United Nations: Ambassador Samantha Power

Council of Economic Advisers: Chairman Jason Furman

Small Business Administration: Administrator Maria Contreras-Sweet

Impeach/Bench Forever: Donald Trump

P.S. That was Obama’s entire administration from his last years in office. Sad, but you probably didn’t know most of their names because his staffers were a well oiled MACHINE!

Happy drafting — and really truly don’t fuck up 2020, America!

[Image via Wiki Commons.]

Sep 4, 2017 1:00pm PDT

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