Shame on Arie Luyendyk Jr. and shame on ABC.
During part one of The Bachelor finale on Monday, the former race car driver ended his relationship with Lauren Burnham (right after telling her he loves her) during the final rose ceremony in Peru, and got down on one knee and proposed to Becca Kufrin.
After several weeks of engaged bliss, Arie took a camera crew to an unsuspecting Becca to break up with her and tell her he was leaving her for his runner-up, Lauren.
During the last 45 minutes of the three hour special, we had to uncomfortably watch Becca get her heart broken in what the network says was completely unedited, raw footage. And every time Becca told Arie to “just leave,” he just lingered around while cameras were shoved down Becca’s throat.
Arie told Becca during his breakup speech:
“The reality of it is that being with you, although it’s been everything that I wanted, I still think about her. And I think you sense that. I think for me, the more I hung out with you, the more I felt like I was losing the possibility of maybe reconciling things with Lauren.”
To which she responded:
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
The episode ended with a brief interview between Becca and Chris Harrison, during which she said it was “brutal” to watch it all back:
“When it all happened, I feel like I kind of blacked out. I cried for probably four days straight I am angry at times. I grieved the loss of that relationship and the future that I thought we were gonna have. I am angry at times. I feel betrayed a lot of the time just because I feel like I was lied to for so long.”
The truth of the matter is that Arie should have never proposed in the first place, especially when he told Lauren moments before that he was in love with her AND clearly wasn’t ready to go all in with Becca. THEN, he should have given Becca the common courtesy of not completely blindsiding her with a breakup in front of camera crews. Trash. ALL OF IT IS TRASH.
Anywho, Becca has since
started her campaign to be The Bachelorette broken her silence ahead of Tuesday night’s finale, talking to People about everything that went down between her and Arie.
Turns out, Arie had been liking several of Lauren’s photos on Instagram while he was still engaged to Becca. He even gave Lauren a call “to apologize” for how they ended, but ultimately decided he wanted to abandon Becca’s ship. Why didn’t we get “raw, unedited” footage of THAT conversation, huh ABC???
Becca told the outlet of the heartbreaking split:
“He’s a good person, I don’t think he’s a monster and purposely did this to hurt me and make me feel this way. But it’s just the result of his actions. At the end of the day, I don’t think he thought through everything of how ending things with Lauren would be, how being engaged to me would be and what breaking up with me and going back to her would be. I don’t think he thought it through, but I don’t think he did it maliciously to break my heart.”
The 27-year-old added of the morning she got engaged in Peru before the final rose ceremony:
“That morning, I woke up and I was very oddly calm. I just felt it in my heart. I just knew it was me ├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥ that him and I were going to be together. There were still nerves, but I never was too anxious or worked up about it because I just felt it was right with us … I felt like my heart was going to burst because it was just so filled with love to be with him and share that news with our friends and family. There was so much excitement and joy. It was an overabundance.”
Becca revealed it wasn’t until the newly-engaged duo got back to the States that Arie admitted he still had feelings for her 26-year-old competitor:
“I never thought for a million years that once the going started to get tough that he would throw in the towel and jump ship and say, ‘Oh sorry, I changed my mind.’ I didn’t think we were at that point whatsoever.”
And reflecting on the moment he broke the news:
“I thought we were just going to have a nice romantic weekend. The night before he had turned off his phone, which I thought was strange, and it wasn’t until the moment when he walked into the house when he didn’t have his suitcases with him, I was like What’s going on?“
Obviously, it wasn’t fun being dumped on national television:
“It was embarrassing the way he broke up with me with the full cameras and crew around. There was a better and more tactful way to do it. A breakup is hard enough, and to have it all filmed and have to re-watch it and know that people all across the country are watching you get your heart broken, it is embarrassing. It’s not fun. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It was like a slap in the face. I wish he would have been more honest with me. From the questions I was asking, I would have appreciated the full truth. I was obviously blindsided like, Did I miss something? I was asking you these things and you didn’t tell me. What did I miss? How could I have not seen any of this to the extent of how it played out?“
While Becca credits Arie for being “open and honest in the fact that he had told Lauren he loved her too,” she says that “red flags were being raised” when the series premiered January 1:
“At that point, I knew that he had liked some of her Instagram photos so we had a conversation about it. And that was the first time that he really threw it out that he should have a conversation with her and just apologize for how things had ended with her, that he had felt guilty … He had told me, ├óΓé¼╦£I still have feelings for her, I’m trying to work through them.’ He said it was hard for him to always talk about it in interviews with the press, to relive that relationship. He said he couldn’t close that chapter until everything was said and done and the finale aired. That whole time we were just looking at the end goal of this week to finally be done with that and move on and be together and work through it as a team.”
Becca couldn’t understand why her fianc├â┬⌐ continued liking his ex’s pics online, saying she “definitely went through all of the emotions. I was upset, I was angry at times, I felt betrayed. When I started noticing those little things like the Instagram likes, I was trying to come at it from a relationship standpoint to compromise and talk through it”:
“I would question if he was ready to be engaged and if he was ready at that point to get down on one knee and if not, I’d still stand by him and want to work through it. But of course I’m going to go through all the emotions. I’m a girl, I’m a human being. There was still jealousy there. You’re engaged to me, why are you liking another person’s photos or still wanting to contact them?“
Um. Yeah. WHY, Arie??
Becca says she “can’t fault” Arie for choosing Lauren, she just wishes he never proposed to her:
“I wish he hadn’t proposed. At that point I loved him and I wanted to be with him. Even if on that last day, he said, ├óΓé¼╦£I’m still uncertain, this is a big move, I don’t want to get down on one knee unless I’m 1000 percent sure, but I still want to be with you,’ I would have been fine with that. I would have been like, ├óΓé¼╦£I love you, I still want to be with you.’ I even asked him a couple times if he felt like he was certain like that was the right move at that point and every time he said, ├óΓé¼╦£I’m happy with the decision and I feel confident in us.’ From what he was telling me and from even that grand gesture, I thought nobody would do that unless they did feel 100 percent confident.”
“He did get down on one knee, he did propose to me, he did say, ├óΓé¼╦£I’m committing to you, I choose you every day.’ That’s something that I only wanted to happen once in my life, and it’s been robbed from me, and I can never have that one time moment again. And the second part is that he lied or hid his true feelings and emotions for weeks and weeks and weeks. The number one thing that I value in a relationship is honesty and loyalty, and I feel like I wasn’t given that.”
Ultimately, she’s forgiven him and she’s ready to move on with her life (AKA probably be the next leading lady):
“At the end of the day I wouldn’t’ change the experience because I met so many amazing people and I fell in love and I had this great experience and memories. I’m still going to feel a sense of compassion for him because I did love him but at this point, I want him to be happy, I want to be done and not have to worry about them anymore. They’re going to be together and do their thing. I wanted to move on and have my person that I can focus on and live my life with. At the end of the day, I do forgive him.”
Good riddance, TBH!
Be sure to catch the final two hours to see Lauren, Becca, and Arie all reunite Tuesday night at 8 p.m. EST.
[Image via ABC.]