Apparently taking a cue from the identically-coiffed hair-metal rock gods of the 1980s, Leo decided that his final stint on Bachelor In Paradise would be better spent flaming out than fading away…
And boy, did he ever flame out last night on an all-new episode of BiP. Shenanigans!!!
Related: We Could See These Leo Shenanigans Coming From A Mile Away
Before we get to Leo, though, there’s plenty other stuff to wrap up from last night’s show — so ICYMI (or even if you didn’t, and you want to re-live it) here’s the rundown of where we stand now:
–Relationships are starting to settle in BIG time. Colton and Tia are doin’ the damn thing now that their drama is (hopefully?) behind us, Chris and Krystal seem to be getting closer every day, Annaliese may have actually found love with Kamil for once, Jenna and Jordan have weathered the Benoit storm (well… more on that later), Astrid and Kevin are pretty much a thing, and Eric and Angela are coupled up. But we’re sure new contestants are coming soon!
–Kevin and Astrid have fully rebounded from his weird hang-up about her wanting to date other men. They even had a nice date watching the sunset together on the beach — awww! Honestly, they seem like the strongest couple in Paradise.
–Eric and Angela went on a REALLY nice spa date, where they were fed ice cream sundaes and exotic cheeses with champagne, all while enjoying a hot tub, and roses all over the entire time. These two haven’t yet been a major focus on the show besides a few quick scenes here or there, but they’ve got a nice connection.
–Annaliese came back just fine after Kenny had to go home, and it seems like she’s really got a thing for Kamil. What can we say? Dude’s attractive… and Annaliese is desperate… like, girl, take it down a notch… or five. Put out good vibes and love will find you!
–Kenny wasn’t the only recent departure that has us shook; can we talk about Jubilee leaving?! Yeah, if you blinked while watching last night, you missed it — Venmo John told her he saw her as just a friend, and so Jubilee left paradise. Sad enough as it is, but the producers didn’t even show it in its own segment! They gave us a quick ten-second recap of what happened and never even interviewed Jubilee again. Doesn’t this woman deserve better from this damn franchise?! Also, Venmo John has nooo idea what he wants because he keeps trying to talk to Kendall, and she is very clearly all about Grocery Store Joe (more on that in a second).
Related: Ashton Kutcher Hangs Out With His Bachelor Nation Lookalike!
–The Benoit storm has officially passed us by. He gave Jenna a hard time for dropping him — which, for a moment, set Jordan off on the warpath — but after Benoit picked himself up off the floor he opted to go after the only remaining free woman in the place: Chelsea. They had an OK connection (he was into it, she was… feeling it out), and the French-Canadian walked into the cocktail party confident he’d done enough to stay. But at the final rose ceremony last night, he was eliminated after Chelsea opted for Venmo John (WHY?! What does anybody see in him besides cheesy dad jokes? He’s worse than Evan!!!). In doing so, she eliminated Connor and David in addition to Benoit. And suddenly, Jordan’s problems have disappeared!
–Let’s talk about David. The chicken suit guy from Becca Kufrin‘s season of The Bachelorette seriously disappeared into the background in Paradise; he never made a connection with anybody and really just joked around like a little kid the entire time. Why was he there as long as he was? Also, there was a clip last night of him and Jordan talking like real comfortable buddies about Jordan’s relationship with Becca — almost too comfortable, like… like… like the producers pushed a phony David-Jordan feud on us for weeks on end and both guys had good enough improv chops to be in on it the whole time. Hmm….
–And that leaves Leo. Where do we begin with Leo, that magnificently-manicured masterpiece of a manly man? Let’s start here: he’s an a**hole. Oops! Sorry. Somebody had to say it. After it became clear Kendall was NOT going to give him her rose this week — because, dude, you made out with Chelsea IMMEDIATELY after your date with Kendall, and then didn’t tell her — Leo went on the (probably drunk) warpath and started calling out ‘snitches’ and ‘tattletales’ in Paradise. Kevin quelled the rage for a bit (aren’t Canadians just so darn polite?!), but it eventually boiled over at the start of the rose ceremony when Leo confronted the whole group and tossed out a horribly un-creative “Grocery Store Bitch” insult at Joe. Is that the best you’ve got, Tarzan?! As Tia said at the time: leave Paradise, dude. Nobody wants your drama here. They’ve got enough already.
–Fortunately, Leo did leave — like, he didn’t even make it to the rose ceremony, the cast literally waved him away and told him to kick rocks right then and there. Is that a first on BiP? To get summarily shooed out of paradise by a unanimous vote of your cast mates before any elimination ceremony takes place? Because if so, Leo TOTALLY deserved it. As he was walking out, though, this little tiff happened with him and Grocery Store Joe:
Damn! Look at this LEAP from a #BachelorInParadise producer to try and take down Leo. pic.twitter.com/EXlDWPgpbg
— Jeff D Off-Brand Trivia Host (@JeffDLowe) August 29, 2018
Ahhhh, nothing like a supposed “real” man throwing a drink at another man. Really knocking ’em dead in your time on national TV, Leo.
Boy, bye!!!!!
–The beneficiary of that, though, was Grocery Store Joe. Judging by the aftermath of the near-fight, it sure seems like Kendall FINALLY understands Joe is a great dude, and very serious about her. Let’s see if she can fall into the commitment this time around, or if there’s another Leo around the corner ready to start trouble…
Related: Former Bachelorette Star Renews Vows In Stunning Ceremony
So there you have it, Perezcious readers — that’s (more or less) what happened this week.
But if previews and the like are any indication, it sure seems like there won’t be quite as many couples on solid ground when the next two episodes roll around next Monday and Tuesday…
Bring on the drama, Chris Harrison!
[Image via YouTube.]
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