Diddy‘s lawyer is working overtime to try to explain away all that baby oil…
On Wednesday, attorney Marc Agnifilo spoke with TMZ about his embattled client, who is currently in jail after having been denied bail multiple times on charges related to sex trafficking, racketeering, and other alleged crimes. But of course, all everybody seems to want to know about at this point are the alleged “freak off” sex parties the Bad Boy Records mogul used to host. And all the damn baby oil involved!!!
Related: Diddy Isn’t Eating In Jail Because He’s ‘Scared’ He’ll Be Poisoned: REPORT
According to the original indictment in this case, which we covered a few weeks ago, when the feds raided Diddy’s mansions as part of their investigation, they discovered over a thousand bottles of lube and baby oil. But Agnifilo now has a very simple explanation for all that: the rap mogul buys in bulk at Costco!
Huh?!
Speaking to that outlet on Wednesday, Agnifilo first tried to play down the “freak off” sex parties by linking them back to what he knew as a younger man back in the day:
“Back when I was a kid in the late ’70s, they were called threesomes.”
OK, Boomer…
Besides, the feds allege that those parties were a little darker and more unsettling than that, but oooookay!
As for the copious amount of baby oil in Sean Combs‘ crib, Agnifilo tried to explain it away by first denying that there were “thousands” of bottles at all:
“I don’t know where the number ‘1,000’ came from. I can’t imagine it’s thousands [of bottles of baby oil and lube], and I’m not really sure what the baby oil has to do with anything.”
When TMZ pushed him on baby oil being used a sexual lubricant, Agnifilo’s response was to again downplay the amount:
“I guess. I don’t know what you need a thousand [for]. One bottle of baby oil goes a long way. I don’t know what you need a thousand for.”
Gotta moderate your consumption! LOLz!!
Then, the lawyer dropped the (hilarious) bomb: that the baby oil existed in such bulk because Diddy has a big house and buys his stuff at Costco!! Agnifilo stated:
“[Diddy] has a big house. He buys in bulk. I think they have Costcos in every place where he has a home. I mean, have you sat in a parking lot of a Costco and see what people walk out of there with?”
Huh?! Somehow, we can’t imagine Diddy rolling up to a Costco and pushing out a giant shopping cart with 200 rolls of toilet paper and paper towels in it, but whatever! Agnifilo tried to reiterate his position in a concluding statement, too:
“I don’t think it was a thousand. Let’s just say it was a lot.”
Amazingly, this isn’t the only time that Agnifilo has made the Costco excuse!!! Last week, he also told the New York Post that the thousand-plus bottles of baby oil simply came about because Diddy buys in bulk:
“I mean, there is a Costco right down the street. I think Americans buy in bulk, as we know. And you know these are consensual adults doing what consensual adults do. You know, we can’t get so puritanical in this country to think that somehow sex is a bad thing, because, if it was, there would be no more people.”
Bro, WHAT?!
Our only two options are the complete and total extinction of the species or attending Diddy’s freak off sex parties?? Mark us down for extinction, then!!
What do U make of the bulk-buying assertions, tho, Perezcious readers?! Sound OFF with your reactions to this WILD claim down in the comments (below)!
[Image via Derrick Salters/WENN]
