Last week studios pushed the release for G.I. Joe: Retaliation back nine months, claiming a need to beef up international numbers with added 3D.
Paramount fed us lies!! Fatty, carb-filled lies!!
The REAL reason behind the clusterfuzz?
The director accidentally murdered Channing Tatum!?
Not the actor — his character Duke!!
For some reason, Jon M. Chu killed Hollywood’s hottest red-hot hottie in the opening scenes of the movie!!!
Test audiences weren’t happy to see the star stud of 21 Jump Street killed, so they’re rewriting the script to bring Tatum back for more scenes.
Paramount’s whole plan seemed flawed!
Bruce Willis, The Rock, and Tatum were initially taking G.I. Joe 2 to theaters the same week as Tatum’s OTHER film, Magic Mike!
Would we rather pay to see Channing shoot at some bad guys in the jungle or watch his hard body dance around on stage three-quarters nekkid?? LOLz!!
Between this massive delay and the severe likelihood that the flick was destined to be crappy anyway, we are anticipating John Carter-esque floppage!!
[Image via WENN.]
