Talk about the one that got away!
Despite wonderful rumors to the contrary, Katy Perry has no intention of releasing a super-seXXXy autobiography!
Not only was her $2 mil book deal complete fiction, it turns out Katy CAN’T EVEN READ!
…
LOL, JK! We totally made that part up because we’re so sad!!
We mentally prepared ourselves for the JUICIEST “tell-all” this side of M├â┬╢tley Cr├â┬╝e’s The Dirt, but our bubble just got burst!
The 28-year-old pop star would surely bring a buttload of Last Friday Night-esque tales to the table, but she’s keeping mum… for now.
Ugh! Now we’ll NEVER know whether John Mayer‘s dong is bigger than Russell Brand‘s!!
Unless, of course, they send us pictures and let us compare!
You do have our e-mail address, right boyz? Ha! We’re so bad!!!
[Image via WENN.]
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