Michael Lohans Needs His Internets DISCONNECTED!

Just when we were beginning to wonder when Michael Lohan would open his big mouth following Lindsay‘s coming out, we’ve finally got it.

That did not take long at all!

Michael is not one to disappoint! Especially when it comes to being a class act father!

In an email to reporters, Michael writes that he wants saMAN out of Lindsay’s life and unable to think of his own material, he refers to Ronson as “SaMANtha” throughout.

Step off, Michael!

Blabbing to the press as any concerned parent would do, Michael says that he believes saMAN wrote the MySpace blog in which LezLo disses on her dad.

These people need to step away from the computer.

Daddy Lohan goes on to praise Joe Francis and agrees with the Girls Gone Wild founder that Samantha is actually controlling Lindsay.

“He wasn’t a bad guy when he flew Lindsay around on his jet, opened the doors to his home or tried to help, was he?,” says Michael.

Um, we’d like to remind you that Joe Francis is the man who gets underaged girls drunk and coaxes them into taking off their clothes.

Continuing his diatribe, Poppa Lohan has these colorful words for Samantha:

“There is a lot more to Samantha then meets the eyes, not that what we see is too pleasing anyway! I mean, what’s with this … ‘person’??? Look at the way she ‘dresses’? Once more, she uses her middle finger more than she uses words! Personally, I think she is dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity.

God will weed her out of Lindsay’s life and at that time, you will finally see Lindsay back in the place where she belongs. Not doing independent films, guest starring on [a] TV show, being a guest judge on a reality TV show or making appearances at Samantha’s DJ gigs. Is this the Lindsay we all knew and loved before Samantha came into her life? No!!! When she got out of Cirque Lodge everything looked good until Samantha came on the ‘scene.'”

Reading that hurt our big fat head!

Michael adds that even though mother and ex-wife Dina Lohan publicly praised Ronson, she knows that Sam has upset Lindsay with threats of a tell-all book.

Dina could not be reached for comment.

Poppa Lohan concludes that he will not rest “until this dark, evil nemesis is out of Lindsay’s life.”

Is he talking about himself????

[Image via WENN.]