The lord giveth, and the lord taketh away.
Wednesday was one of our favorite days in the history of social media when a woman named Zola won the Internet thanks to her insanely detailed Twitter story about getting involved in the sex working industry of Florida.
Well, the Twitterverse was again aflutter on Thursday when it seemed as though everyone’s favorite supporting character Jess had joined the social media network to share her side of the story!
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And while things started off brilliantly for Chapter Two of the greatest story ever told, Jess’ rendition of how things really went down was a tad different than how Zola painted the picture.
Jess began her version of the Florida vacation from hell at the same Hooters as Zola, saying:
Hello World! I hate that you had to meet me under such false & inaccurate circumstances. My Name is Jessica. IG: jessraeswiat
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
I just created this account. I have ZERO followers.I’m following no one. I don’t care if this gets mass attention. I need to clear my name
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
First of all, let me just say I DID meet Zola at Hooters that night. I was with what she calls my sugar daddy Xavier.
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
Let’s just call him X. We were really drunk that night and needed some food to soak up the liquor. #Zola is our waitress.
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
Pretty light skin black girl. Extremely friendly.First question she asked me were if my tits were real. LOL. I was like UH? But went with it
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
Everything checks out so far.
Plus, asking a stranger about the legitimacy of their boobs does sound like the Zola we’ve come to know and love would do. LOLz!
Unfortunately, after about 52 tweets, Jess’ story takes a weird turn where she mostly just starts name dropping celebs like Beyonc├â┬⌐, Nicki Minaj, and Mariah Carey…
We both get a turn. They asked us what we wanted to dance to. I told PJ “Partition” by Beyonce. That’s my signature THOT anthem. lol
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
Zola dances to “Truffle Butter” by Nicki Minaj. The bitch can dance. I won’t lie. But she got ass naked and showed her pussy.
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
A Mariah Carey lookalike walks out starts hitting high notes like, “YOU RAGGEDY BITCH BUY MY MUHFUCKIN ALBUM!” and pulls out a 45
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
Me and Zola start HITTING IT down the street! Gun shots and whistle notes everywhere in this bitch.
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
We make it to Barclays Center where we’re able to watch Beyonce and Nicki perform “Feeling Myself” which was also LIVE STREAMED ON TIDAL
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
They killed that shit.
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
When the concert is over the BALDHEADED, RAGGEDY NAVY was outside pressed like Y NO RIHANNA? We yelled WE AIN’T GOT TIME FOR DAT BIIiiiiiiH
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
I got in this little bitch’s face like WHERE THE FUCK IS ANTI BITCH? WHEN IS THE MUHFUCKIN ALBUM DROPPING?
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
We’re right there with her about Rihanna and ANTI, by the way.
Jess tried to play off the wacky turn of events as a hack at first, but she went on to crush our dreams saying the whole thing was just a hoax.
The moral of this story is that social media is dangerous and can make you believe anything.
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
You see how you all retweeted and believed everything with baited breath until it was painfully obvious it was fake?
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
You all are so thirsty for a messy story that you’re willing to believe it no matter what.
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
Sitting around making Zola famous when 100 made up tweets could have made your own simple asses famous. STAY WOKE.
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
These strippers done went from the poles to the publishing house. All because of you. I’M OUT.
— Jessica Raes (@jesswaesriat) October 29, 2015
We get that the Jess imposter isn’t a fan of praising drugs and violence, but stereotyping strippers as illiterate isn’t much better… just sayin’.
Hopefully the one, true Zola returns soon to bless us with even more gems from her glorious life.
Do U think we’ll ever really get Jess’ side of the story??
P.S. CLICK HERE for the best Twitter reactions to #ZolasAdventures!
P.P.S. CLICK HERE to see what an acclaimed Hollywood director has to say about #ZolasAdventures!
[Image via Aziah King/Twitter.]
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