Archive for the 'Kerry Katona' Category

Upon hearing this news, Wendy Williams ate a Slim-Jim and did a happy dance! She is no longer the most ludicrous person to have their own show!

Peter Andre is getting his own late-night show on Channel 4 this summer, which will air on Fridays @ 10 P.M. Obviously, their demographic will be lonely, pathetic people who don't have anything to do on a Friday evening, which is perfect because Peter can relate to them.

We already forsee where this show is going after reading who the first guest will be - Kerry Katona!

But of course! You scratch her fame-seeking back, she will scratch yours!

And do you know who else they wanted to have on? Alex Reid! As in, his Katie Price's new husband! Could you imagine???

Of course, Peter said no (rude), but expect those kind of shenanigans throughout his year run.

Wonder if he'll let his ex stop by when she has a new book to hock? That will bring in HUGE ratings!

[Image via WENN.]

Unreal. And so unbelievably tragic!

British trainwreck Kerry Katona, who has looked pretty together for the past month or so, has opened up about how bad her drug use actually was, and holy shiz!

We have to wonder why no one has taken her kids away!

Seriously!! WTF?? Not okay!!

She admits:

'For the first time, I want to talk about everything - the drugs, my marriage break-up, everything. I feel shame, guilt, but also relief. I'm finally owning up to the person I've been these past few years. So much has been said about me and I don't think I can move on until I've drawn a line under it all. I hated my life. I'd lie in bed for three days in a row doing cocaine with Mark. We did coke in our en suite and had a lock on the door. The kids knew if the bathroom door was locked they mustn't come in. The children would be downstairs with a nanny and she knew not to let them up to our bedroom at those times. Our relationship was just about coke. Mostly we'd have three-day sessions and not eat. I'd play online bingo, look up shit stories about me to make me feel worse, and watch cartoons. Mark would be on his Xbox and we'd go in and out of the bathroom for lines. I'd take so much coke I'd have a fit, then I'd come round and do another line. I had to stop, I had to get out. If I carried on doing what I was doing, I'd be dead. I was a total mess. I was overweight… I felt like I wanted to tear my own skin off. One day I took a razor and slashed my foot until it bled. I knew then that I'd hit rock bottom and I had to change my life. I'm not an addict and I never have been. My problem is that I am so desperate to please, so desperate to make people love me, I'll do anything. Cocaine was the way I could make everyone happy.'

No, no, honey, if you're doing that much coke - it means you're an ADDICT.

We sincerely hope that she's being honest and has really cleaned up her act, because NO child should have to live with parents that awful! And can you imagine what that poor nanny had to put up with??

Girl, you've been given a second chance - don't eff it up!

[Image via WENN.]

This is so … sad!

Kerry Katona decided to try and have a seemingly normal afternoon with her girls by taking them out to a sushi rolling class in Manchester yesterday. The only problem with this new "healthy" lifestyle is that she couldn't make it without bringing along several photogs to document the whole thing to prove that she is "healthy" while also pretending they didn't exist so she could appear to be normal.

That all makes sense, right?

So basically, she is pimping out her children for her own fame-whoring scheme and choosing to pretend that she really isn't.

Fantastic! A role model indeed!

[Image via www.XposurePhotos.com.]

We love it — they have no shame!

Peter Andre and Kerry Katona pose on the cover of the UK's OK! Magazine together WITH their children to talk about their rekindled friendship.

Is a romance in their future? We wouldn't put it past these two just for the publicity alone!

A slimmed down Kerry Katona was spotted leaving her place last night in her new BMW X5 looking AMAZING!

This is a good thing, Kerry, unless it is the result of mething!

We would rather have you fat and drug-free than thin and tweeked out!

Just saying!

[Image via www.XposurePhotos.com.]

Is Kerry Katona FINALLY getting her disaster of a life together??

Probably not!!

But she's definitely heading in the right direction!!

The 29 year old reality star recently dropped the drugged out dead weight that is her disgusting husband, Mark Croft, and has just signed with a new team of babysitters management, Can Associates, who are not messing around!!

Under the conditions of her contract, girlfriend has to undergo weekly drug tests and not have any contact with her ex!!

Manager Claire Powell says:

"There will be no drugs and no Mark. She has signed a legal document agreeing to that. Kerry approached me six months ago to take her on but I refused while Mark was still around. I do not believe he has been a positive influence on her. If she is prepared to work hard and stay clean she has a great career ahead of her."

We'll see if this sticks!!

We sure hope so, for her sake!!

[Image via WENN.]

Yeah, Kerry Katona has had her fair share of hard-pAArtying troubles, but her ex Mark Croft is the real douchebag here!

Croft has admitted to reporters that he was paid off by paparazzi by tipping them off to Kerry's whereabouts!

Douche!

His justification for his actions is even douchier!

Says Croft:

When I did earn money by tipping people off she went mad, I would tell photographers where she was going and get paid for it. Kerry went mental when she found out - but it didn't stop me, I don't feel guilty.

She said: "Don't fucking do this to me. It makes me look stupid." I told her we get stuff out of it. It is a bit shitty but it was worth a few hundred quid. If I hadn't done it somebody else would have done.

If that wasn't sickening enough, Mark has revealed that he doesn't want custody of their two children ("I think kids should be with their mum") and believes that Kerry is "used goods" and that "divorce is inevitable."

Mark finished his interview by telling the reporter he used to tease and taunt Kerry, who is bipolar, until she was at her wits end.

"I could push it to the limit… I know how to wind her up to the point she would start screaming at me," Mark proudly bragged.

OMG.

We bet he's the one who secretly taped and sold the video of Kerry snorting coke!!!!!!

[Image via Steve Searle/WENN.]

Wait, sorry. Shouldn't this be the other way around? Shouldn't he be leaving you for cheating?

This is all kinds of screwy!

Kerry Katona has made her husband move out of their house after he accused her of allegedly cheating while she was in boot camp. Some sources claim that Kerry and Mark Croft are no longer together, but deny any rumors of Kerry cheating or that being the reason for their split.

The point is, afte three years, the couple has split - again!

Longevity in relationships has never been to frequent in Hollywood, but c'mon you two. We can't bare to see you ruin other people's lives so just kiss and make up.

[Image via WENN.]