The Simpsons Have Some Good Lawyers, Jessica's Attorneys On The ATTACK!

So the one smart thing the Simpsons did was hire a real good lawyer, and with Speedfit reviving its lawsuit against Jessica Simpson for breach of contract, Papa Joe sicked his legal pitbulls on the fitness company, with some hilarious results.

PerezHilton.com has exclusively obtained the letter sent by the Simpson lawyers to Alex Astilean, CEO of SpeedFit. It’s pretty long and packed with legal jargon, but we’ve extracted the gems for you.

Says Jess’ attorney to the SpeedFit dude:

– “While I have come to expect erratic and unprofessional behavior from you [Speedfit guy] – – having witnessed firsthand your threatening and intemperate outbursts – – your recent conduct is beyond the pale, and is confirmatory of your desperation in failing to make any progress in your frivolous arbitration concerning the Video.”

– And here he quotes the Speedfit dude as writing, “I don’t know who’s [sic] “fine cut” is [sic] but certainly not mine! This video is far from be finish [sic], but I guess this is the best they can do (production company . . .). It si [sic] a long story behind it and I will make it sort [sic]: They [my production team] couldn’t write the script, they couldn’t direct it and obviously they couldn’t edit it! I am about to send an official letter from my lawyer to [my partner] and [my production team] with my total disapproval of this video. Before Jessica will approve this video, it will have to have mine too and it is very far from that!” (But why would you ever do business with an individual who cannot write beyond a 5th grade level?)

– To which the lawyer responds with, “Despite this moment of clarity in your assessment of the appalling quality of the Video that you produced, over the course of the following year you did nothing to correct the Video or make it palatable for public consumption….”

– “With no merit to your claims, and no remaining lawful avenues to pursue, you have now stepped over the line from the bizarre and the frivolous – – going so far as to absurdly suggest that Ms. Simpson’s termination of the agreement has caused the deaths of “fat people” (your words) – – into the realm of unlawful and legally actionable conduct.”

– And ends with a nice, friendly, “The Simpson Parties will no longer tolerate your excesses, and you are now on formal notice of their legal claims against you. …. I suggest that you govern yourself accordingly.”

Or he could have told him to “Be careful y’all!”

Speedfit dude doesn’t stand a chance in hell!

[Image via WENN.]