We regularly lament and decry Donald Trump‘s horrible statements about immigrants, the media, and the world at large, but all Americans can probably agree: it would be worse if he were speaking about us specifically.
That’s what happened to Kristen Stewart, who recalled in this weekend’s hilarious (and partially NSFW) Saturday Night Live monologue the time the future POTUS gave his unsolicited opinion on her love life.
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Did we say the time? Sorry, we meant the times. Plural.
Yep, Trump tweeted ELEVEN times about how he thought Robert Pattinson should dump KStew. And we went and collected them:
Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again–just watch. He can do much better!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 17, 2012
Listen to the man with three marriages and double-digit harassment suits under his belt!
Lots of response to my Pattinson/Kristen Stewart reunion. She will cheat again–100 certain–am I ever wrong?
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 18, 2012
A lot. You are wrong a lot.
Robert I’m getting a lot of heat for saying you should dump Kristen- but I’m right. If you saw the Miss Universe girls you would reconsider.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 18, 2012
Oh, the ones who’ve accused you of harassment? Or different ones?
So many tweets & stories on Stewart/Pattinson Look, it doesn’t matter– the relationship will never be the same. It is permanently broken.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 19, 2012
Sounds like the state of another union we know…
Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be smart, Robert.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 22, 2012
It’s a couple of years later. We wonder what R-Patz has to say about Trump…
Everyone is asking me to speak more on Robert & Kristen.I don’t have time except to say “Robert, drop her, she cheated on you & will again!”
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 23, 2012
There is no way anyone was asking him to speak more on this. Unless they were like, “Hey, Donald, can you explain why you’re talking about this?”
Miss Universe 2012 Pageant will be airing live on @nbc & @Telemundo december 19th. Open invite stands for Robert Pattinson.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 25, 2012
Getting so desperate.
Robert Pattinson is putting on a good face for the release of Twilight. He took my advice on Kristen Stewart…I hope!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 9, 2012
At this point, we don’t really think he cares.
Everybody wants me to talk about Robert Pattinson and not Brian Williams—I guess people just don’t care about Brian!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 9, 2012
Our working theory is that the only genuine tweet is the initial one. Just Trump spouting off his opinion randomly.
After Friday├óΓé¼Γäós Twilight release, I hope Robert Pattinson will not be seen in public with Kristen–she will cheat on him again!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 13, 2012
It was the adulation he received from it, much like what he gets from crowds cheering his faux populist fear-mongering, that kept him going back to the well, as though he really gave a shit about the stars of a YA sensation.
“Donald Trump Wishes Kristen Stewart A Happy Birthday” http://t.co/UMN4QpgmHN via @HollywoodLife
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 10, 2013
See? He just loves being talked about.
In case you missed it, here’s Kristen’s whole SNL monologue where she proposes her own theory:
[Image via NBC.]
