This is shocking!
Mel B revealed this weekend that she was taking up to six lines of cocaine per day while filming X Factor in order to get her through her life and difficult marriage to Stephen Belafonte.
Related: Mel B Shades The Hell Outta Victoria Beckham!
The Spice Girls star admitted as much in a serialized partial look into her autobiography Brutally Honest, that was published this weekend in The Sun On Sunday.
In the passage, Mel B explains her drug-taking habits while filming the show, writing (below):
“I was so low that two weeks into filming The X Factor I’d started using cocaine to get me through the run of the show … Then I would pray, ‘God, I’m sorry for taking cocaine, but please God help me get through this day’. It numbed my pain. It lifted me up enough to be ready to fire on all cylinders and forget about everything but the show. To get me through living with Stephen, which felt like neurotic claustrophobia. On so many levels I felt myself sinking. I had a routine. I was ashamed of what I was doing, but I felt I had to have it. I told myself God would understand and forgive me because he could see through all the glitter and the crap. He could see me. The mess. And cocaine could help that mess. Just for now. It numbed my pain.”
Wow! So sad and scary!
Now, she insists she never took the drugs while filming the shows — just before/after to cope with numbing the pain, as she writes — and she was quick to note that life was better during filming, but that afterwards she’d return to her old life and struggle with it, and her marriage.
Related: Mel B Allegedly Hit Model At Fashion Show?!
Mel B explained that, too (below):
“Once I was at work I didn’t need anything and I didn’t take anything. I’d crack jokes with Simon and the other judges and have a laugh with the crew. But as soon as I left the building, it was like in Cinderella, where everything turns back to sh*t and rats and pumpkins.”
Ugh!
Such a horrible downward spiral to be caught in — we can only hope that mentally, Mel B is in a better, stronger place now.
What do U think about this revelation, Perezcious readers? Let us know in the comments (below)…
[Image via WENN.]
