Amanda Bynes Talks Getting High At 16, Quitting Hollywood, & Humiliating Herself On Twitter!
Now THIS is how you break the Internet, Kim Kardashian!
In her Paper magazine cover story published on Monday, Amanda Bynes opens up about her history with drugs, including marijuana, molly, ecstasy, cocaine, and Adderall.
Although the former child star “never liked the taste of alcohol” and only “started going out around 25 years old,” she began smoking weed when she was 16.
(The troubled thespian previously admitted to being “on drugs” in the past in her 2017 interview with Hollyscoop‘s Diana Madison.)
The All That alum revealed:
“I started smoking marijuana when I was 16. Even though everyone thought I was the ‘good girl,’ I did smoke marijuana from that point on… I didn’t get addicted [then] and I wasn’t abusing it. And I wasn’t going out and partying or making a fool of myself… yet.”
Later on, she began doing harder drugs like “molly and ecstasy” and eventually even cocaine:
“[I tried] cocaine three times but I never got high from cocaine. I never liked it. It was never my drug of choice.”
However, the FIDM student admits she “definitely abused Adderall” on a regular basis.
Sadly, Amanda had a serious issue with the way she looked, one that was affected in a surprising way by her movie She’s The Man:
“When the movie came out and I saw it, I went into a deep depression for 4-6 months because I didn’t like how I looked when I was a boy.
I’ve never told anyone that.”
That “super strange and out-of-body experience” put her “into a funk” — and her self image issues only got worse.
Around the time of 2007’s Hairspray, Amanda read “an article in a magazine that [called Adderall] ‘the new skinny pill’ and they were talking about how women were taking it to stay thin.” That was all the sell she needed:
“I was like, ‘Well, I have to get my hands on that.”‘
In fact, Bynes was able to get a prescription by going “to a psychiatrist and faking the symptoms of ADD.”
Looking back, the 32-year-old believes the medication played a role in her “scatterbrained” behavior on the set of Hall Pass in 2010:
“When I was doing Hall Pass, I remember being in the trailer and I used to chew the Adderall tablets because I thought they made me [more] high [that way]… I remember chewing on a bunch of them and literally being scatterbrained and not being able to focus on my lines or memorize them for that matter.”
During production, she “remembers seeing my image on the screen and literally tripping out and thinking my arm looked so fat because it was in the foreground or whatever and I remember rushing off set and thinking, ‘Oh my god, I look so bad.'”
Because of “the mixture of being so high that I couldn’t remember my lines and not liking my appearance,” Bynes dropped out of the film.
In response to rumors she was fired:
“I made a bunch of mistakes but I wasn’t fired. I did leave… it was definitely completely unprofessional of me to walk off and leave them stranded when they’d spent so much money on a set and crew and camera equipment and everything.”
That was not the last straw for Amanda Bynes the movie star though.
She recalls attending a screening of her final film, Easy A, and “having a different reaction than everyone else to the movie.” She explained:
“I literally couldn’t stand my appearance in that movie and I didn’t like my performance. I was absolutely convinced I needed to stop acting after seeing it… I was high on marijuana when I saw that but for some reason it really started to affect me. I don’t know if it was a drug-induced psychosis or what, but it affected my brain in a different way than it affects other people. It absolutely changed my perception of things… I saw it and I was convinced that I should never be on camera again and I officially retired on Twitter, which was, you know, also stupid… If I was going to retire [the right way], I should’ve done it in a press statement — but I did it on Twitter. Real classy! But, you know, I was high and I was like, ‘You know what? I am so over this’ so I just did it. But it was really foolish and I see that now. I was young and stupid.'”
After retiring from acting, Amanda felt she “had no purpose in life,” would “wake and bake and literally be stoned all day long” and started hanging out “with a seedier crowd.”
In addition to being “stuck at home, getting high, watching TV, and tweeting,” she admits:
“I got really into my drug usage and it became a really dark, sad world for me.”
In regards to her crazy Twitter rants, including that infamous Drake one, she lamented:
“I’m really ashamed and embarrassed with the things I said. I can’t turn back time but if I could, I would. And I’m so sorry to whoever I hurt and whoever I lied about because it truly eats away at me. It makes me feel so horrible and sick to my stomach and sad… Everything I worked my whole life to achieve, I kind of ruined it all through Twitter… it’s definitely not Twitter’s fault — it’s my own fault.”
Luckily, Amanda says she has “been sober for almost four years now,” and credits her parents with “really helping me get back on track.”
In fact, Bynes has words of wisdom for anyone struggling with substance abuse:
“My advice to anyone who is struggling with substance abuse would be to be really careful because drugs can really take a hold of your life… Everybody is different, obviously, but for me, the mixture of marijuana and whatever other drugs and sometimes drinking really messed up my brain. It really made me a completely different person. I actually am a nice person. I would never feel, say or do any of the things that I did and said to the people I hurt on Twitter… There are gateway drugs and thankfully I never did heroin or meth or anything like that but certain things that you think are harmless, they may actually affect you in a more harmful way. Be really, really careful because you could lose it all and ruin your entire life like I did.”
“Those days of experimenting [with substances] are long over. I’m not sad about it and I don’t miss it because I really feel ashamed of how those substances made me act. When I was off of them, I was completely back to normal and immediately realized what I had done — it was like an alien had literally invaded my body. That is such a strange feeling.”
Read her full interview HERE.
See photos of her spread (below):
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#BreaktheInternet: Amanda Bynes. Having spent years out of the spotlight, Bynes steps back in and opens up about her tumultuous — and remarkable — journey. #linkinbio Story by @abbyschreiber28 Photos by @daniellelevitt Styling by @neverhavetotweet Hair by @samiknighthair Makeup by @edwardcruzmakeup
[Image via WENN.]