Amy Schumer may have plenty of jokes, but the I Feel Pretty actress’ past experience with abuse and sexual assault is NOTHING to laugh about.
For a candid sit down with Oprah Winfrey, the Trainwreck star revealed how much she’s actually overcome to achieve the happiness in her life. During her appearance on OWN‘s SuperSoul Conversations, the comedienne shared that the abuse she suffered left her “convinced” that she “wasn’t lovable.”
Related: Amy Discussed I Feel Pretty Backlash!
The 36-year-old relayed:
“I got hurt by accident a lot. He didn’t realize how hard he’d grabbed me or shook me or pushed me, and I would fall and hit something then I’d be hurt. I can picture being thrown on the hood of a car like it was an hour ago…
And running from him, carrying my shoes and running from him, running into backyards trying to get away from him because I was afraid for my life. It’s so out of body. You think, ├óΓé¼╦£I’m not this woman, who is this woman? This can’t be me.’ I’m not that kind of woman, and then you realize there is no kind of woman. It happens to all woman.”
Unsurprisingly, this experience left quite the toll on her psyche. Per Schumer, her former flame made her believe that she “wasn’t lovable and he was the only person who could ever possibly love [her].” She continued:
“And then again I would feel bad for him after he hurt me about how bad he would feel. You don’t choose to fall in love with someone who hurts you, and you can be in love with someone who hurts you.”
While this fact is terribly sad, Amy isn’t wrong in her sentiments. Sadly, this isn’t the only negative experience Schumer has had with the opposite sex. As mentioned in the It-girl’s memoir, Amy lost her virginity while she was asleep — an experience she has dubbed “gray-area rape.”
The Snatched artist explained:
“I lost my virginity while I was asleep. So, in my stand-up, I used to talk about ├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥ I called it, ├óΓé¼╦£gray-area rape,’ which was my way of bringing this up in my stand-up├óΓé¼┬ª trying to make people laugh while they learned. When we hear about rape when we’re children, it’s about a guy popping out from a bush and this villain. They don’t say it’s probably going to be a guy who you know very well. It could be your husband, your friend. You think when that happens to you, you say, ├óΓé¼╦£Okay, well this isn’t someone I want to see rotting in a jail cell but what he did to me was wrong and I didn’t consent.’
…In my stand-up, I would say if she’s asleep that’s a no.”
To make matters worse, her boyfriend at the time tried to defend that he thought she “knew” they were going to have sex:
“I didn’t say anything [about consenting]. He was my boyfriend, I loved him, I had to comfort him. I also felt really angry which├óΓé¼┬ª it was just a feeling I had, I felt really angry with him. It’s a rage that’s stayed with me. I don’t think you lose that. As women, we’re trained not to get angry because that makes people dismiss you right away. But I felt ├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥ I wanted to comfort him and try to push my anger down.”
Smh. How awful and traumatizing.
After Oprah asked her how she’d define her first sexual experience, Amy stated:
“I, personally, feel like I lost my virginity through rape… I didn’t consent, we hadn’t discussed it [having sex]. We weren’t there in our relationship, we weren’t at that moment.”
Intense stuff.
Thankfully, Amy has a lot of happiness in her life these days. Not only is she now married to chef Chris Fischer, she’s also KILLING IT in her professional life.
We’re so grateful to Amy for sharing this very personal story. Thank you, Amy — seriously.
[Image via OWN.]