Anthony Bourdain Said He Felt ‘Some Responsibility’ To ‘At Least Try To Live’ After Becoming A Father In Recent Interview

Anthony Bourdain

We still can’t believe it.

As we reported, Anthony Bourdain died by suicide on Friday. As the world mourns his loss, recent interviews with the travel journalist are now resurfacing.

In what would be his final interview, the 61-year-old Parts Unknown host described himself as “happy” and spoke about his young daughter, 11-year-old Ariane.

Related: Walker Hayes & Wife Laney Mourn The Loss Of Daughter

He told People back in February that he felt “some responsibility” to “at least try to live” ever since becoming a father:

“I also do feel I have things to live for. There have been times, honestly, in my life that I figured, ├óΓé¼╦£I’ve had a good run ├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥ why not just do this stupid thing, this selfish thing├óΓé¼┬ª jump off a cliff into water of indeterminate depth.'”

Bourdain added that he used to intentionally “go to places” where “I was, frankly, asking for trouble. It was a daredevil move”:

“In retrospect, I don’t know that I would do that today ├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥ now that I’m a dad or reasonably happy.”

The explorer said that he was “happy in ways that I have not been in memory” and “happy in ways I didn’t think I ever would be, for sure.” He attributed his happiness “somebody really strong” — seemingly referencing his girlfriend, Asia Argento.

Also in an interview with People, Bourdain commented that he would probably “die in the saddle” when asked about retirement. He said at the time:

“I gave up on that. I’ve tried. I just think I’m just too nervous, neurotic, driven. I would have had a different answer a few years ago. I might have deluded myself into thinking that I’d be happy in a hammock or gardening. But no, I’m quite sure I can’t. I’m going to pretty much die in the saddle.”

Devastating.

If you or someone you know is in need of help, please know that you are not alone and contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “help” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741.

[Image via Ivan Nikolov/WENN.]

Jun 8, 2018 12:53pm PDT