A FitPerez reader has a messy roommate and wrote life coach Dr. J for some helpful advice on confronting her, asking:
“My roommate doesn’t clean up herself and besides it being gross, I’m embarrassed to invite friends over. I’ve tried giving her hints about cleaning up but so far nothing has changed. I really can’t afford to move and I don’t want to confront her and then have an awkward living situation. Any ideas?”
According to Dr. J:
Absolutely! It’s clearly time to “clean up” the situation if it’s affecting your social life at the place you call home. A direct, honest conversation is in order. Now is the time to pump-up the backbone and ask your roommate to pick up after herself. The alternative is to continue to allow things to pile-up until the volcano erupts, which I’m sure is not the path you want to take.
You have already demonstrated your good will by keeping the Peace in your place, but your silence is sabotaging your success here. Honesty does not have to mean confrontation. The dialogue does not need to put her on the defensive. Rather it should demonstrate that you are looking to join forces as allies, not enemies, in your environment. Do your best not to ditch the diplomacy and focus on embarking on environmental excellence. Hopefully your roommate will be receptive to your requests.
If this doesn’t get through to her, it’s clear she’s a lost cause. That’s where Plan B comes into play. Start saving money now so that you can afford to move out as quickly as possible. She’ll finally get the message once the movers come knocking on your door.
If you’ve got a question about how to handle something bothering you in life, shoot us an email or ask the doctor himself @AskDocJ on Twitter!