Relationships and weight loss. What could go wrong? LOLz!
On Monday, a fit boyfriend took to Reddit to figure out if he’s being a d**k to his girlfriend, who is trying to lose weight. Can y’all already see where this is going?? LMFAO!
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The man clearly knew he was possibly in the wrong since he turned to the AITA (“Am I the A**hole”) forum to pose his question, sharing:
“My girlfriend is on the bigger side, which is something I do not mind. I am on the more fit side, I’m pretty lean, have well defined muscles and probably around 15% body fat. I used to be about 40 pounds heavier and lost the weight pretty simply.”
At least he has personal experience with weight loss! But even so, because it was simple for him, it does NOT mean it’ll be that easy for his girlfriend! Everyone’s journey is different. Just saying!
That said, he’s trying to be supportive, and so he insisted that he tells his girlfriend that he finds “her sexy for so many reasons outside of her body” and reassures her that he doesn’t care “whether she got bigger or smaller.” Still, she “always complains about her weight and her body” and decided to do something about it. But it wasn’t going so well!! He explained:
“Eventually she decided she wanted to lose weight, I offered to help and when I pointed out things she could be doing better she gets mad at me. She isn’t losing weight currently and in fact says she is gaining a few extra pounds.”
Trying to help, he wondered what her “healthy” diet looked like, but that line of questioning quickly started “an argument.” He continued:
“I tell her that if she wants to show me, let me just spend a day with her and see what she eats in a day. She said only if I don’t make comments on what she’s eating as she’s eating it. I agreed.”
Yeah, that didn’t go well. He noted:
“Now by the end of the day she had consumed, a plate of avocado toast that was about 400 calories, a coffee that was 110 calories, an 800 calorie salad from chick fil a and a fry (as a ‘reward’ for the salad) and veggie burrito that was about 500 calories. Along with [snacking a bit] throughout the day. Her total consumption was about 2200 calories.”
Oof. Just a little bit judgmental there with that whole “reward” remark, don’t ya think??
Based on what his partner was eating in a day, the poster quickly determined she was in making errors in her weight loss journey, tho. He remarked:
“At the end of the day I explained this to her. My exact words were that the amount of calories she is consuming is the amount I need to maintain my weight as a man 5 inches and 20 pounds bigger, who is constantly active. So chances are she’ll slowly gain weight eating like that and that eating healthy isn’t going to guarantee she’ll lose weight.”
But once again, this only led to a confrontation! He concluded:
“She got super f**king pissed at me and told me I wasn’t helping her and was just shaming her. I told her I want to help her but she did not listen.”
A tricky sitch! So, what did people have to say?? Unfortunately for him, among 5k comments so far, Reddit (for the most part) determined the boyfriend was being the a**hole! Oof! While most people thought his intentions were good, they pretty much all felt he was going about this the wrong way. The top comment on the post pointed out:
“I’ve learned from personal experience it never goes well when a loved one talks about weight/diet. the best way is for this information to come from an outside source. (Has she tried any of those diet apps? Or could she afford a nutritionist?)”
Giving anyone weight loss advice can be really hard! It’s just so sensitive and personal, you know? So, finding a third party is not a bad idea — especially for this couple who can’t seem to see eye to eye on the topic!
Meanwhile, others felt like the boyfriend “overstepped” by offering to help and then didn’t go about the help in the right way. Some of them chimed in:
“The problem here is OP [original poster] just decided he should help. That it’s simple (simple doesn’t mean easy), and that he should be listened to. And this ‘I tell her I find her sexy for so many reasons outside her body’ is basically telling her that her body sucks”
“I know you want to help but the way you went about it wasn’t what she needed. Ask her how you can help her. Maybe cook together and meal prep healthy foods. Go on walks together to help burn calories. Ask if she is using any tools or would like help researching tools to help be healthier. There are apps or journals that help track and encourage people in being healthy and losing weight. Let her lead in her journey and be there if she needs help and/or encourage. But don’t try to take over or tell her she is doing it wrong, that will just hurt her and make her not want to talk to you about it in the future.”
“The reason your input is a problem for her is that it was unsolicited. The fact that you had all this advice ready in your head, and chomped at the bit to give it to her, indicates you are not as fine with her physique as you claim to be. You judge her for it and you couldn’t wait to make that clear. While you may be factually correct about her diet, you didn’t go about it in a very constructive way.”
“Fastest way to become her ex boyfriend? Count her daily caloric intake and tell her the number.”
“dude you gotta tread lightly here. it’s obvious you care but giving her cold hard numbers like that probably felt like an attack. try being supportive not analytical. honestly focusing on her feelings might work better than stats. just a thought you know”
Lots of heated reactions! You can see the full post and all the responses HERE.
So, what do YOU think, Perezcious readers?? Is the boyfriend doing too much by counting her calories? Is there a better way he could help?? OR is the girlfriend wrong for getting upset even after she agreed to his help? Sound OFF (below)!!
[Image via Netflix/20th Century Studios/YouTube]
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