Hayden Panettiere is addressing the “common misconception” she “abandoned” her daughter.
On Monday, the Nashville alum appeared on the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast to discuss her new memoir, This Is Me: A Reckoning. The conversation ultimately wandered to a topic she discusses in the book: her daughter Kaya with ex Wladimir Klitschko.
As you may know, Hayden gave full custody of the then-3-year-old to Wlad in 2018 amid a heartbreaking battle with substance abuse. And in the years since, she’s faced criticism for what many have deemed abandonment of the child… but Hayden is finally ready to set the record straight.
During her chat with Shetty, the 36-year-old pushed back:
“The idea that anybody would think that I would just give away my child and be okay with it is heartbreaking. [It] couldn’t be further from the truth. … I was struggling with mental health, and anxiety, and the postpartum, and having to act my way through it, and just feeling like I completely lost myself.”
Related: Martin Short Breaks Silence On Daughter Katherine’s ‘Nightmare’ Death
Discussing her rehabilitation journey, she continued:
“And I think a misconception is in the past that I had been forced into treatment, when in fact I have been the one who sought it out, who was saying, ‘I desperately need help. I know this is going to look terrible, but I cannot live like this anymore.’ And even though Wlad didn’t understand it, the people around me didn’t know what was going on, I didn’t know what was going on, they were supportive. I went to go get help. They didn’t know what was going on, and so it became this horrible cycle for years of battling depression, and anxiety, and alcoholism, and substance abuse, and me just trying to find my way back, my way out of this darkness. I would have done anything, tried anything.”
The Heroes alum went on to reflect on the moment Wlad proposed taking Kaya full-time:
“But it wasn’t until Kaya was 2 years old, about 2, 2 and a half years old, that Wlad decided that he thought it would be best for her to live in Europe. And when that first happened, I did not have a good reaction to it. I went, like, mother lion. I would have burned the world down for my child. So that was incredibly difficult — the fact that my child wasn’t going to be with me all day every day was … you can’t put words to it. It’s just a really intense feeling, or multiple feelings layered together.”
However, amid her personal battles, and seeing the opportunities Kaya had in Europe, something changed in her mind:
“But I realized that she had been traveling back and forth for so many years, and because I was working on the show, and because Wlad had to prepare for fights as a businessman in his own right, she had to go back and forth between the US and Europe. Sometimes we would go together, sometimes she would go with the nanny, so she had spent a lot of time over there. She had family, she had friends, she had extracurricular activities, she already had a beautiful life and she understood the languages and was starting to speak them.”
So, Hayden made the unthinkable decision and gave up full custody to Wlad. And by the time she got “healthy,” she felt it would be “selfish” to pry her now-11-year-old daughter from everything she knows:
“So by the time I finally got healthy, I felt like it would have been unfair and selfish of me to try to pull her out away from this life that she had created, that she was living — an incredible life. She’s an incredible little girl. So happy, speaks five languages, and rides horses, and knows that she’s got two parents that love her. I know in my heart that she feels supported.”
Hayden went on to discuss their “bond,” adding:
“I have an incredible relationship with her, I travel as much as I can, I see her, I spend a lot of time on FaceTime with her. We talk about really deep things. We have a really intense and incredible bond, and I’m very grateful for that. And I know that she knows that she has two parents who would do anything in the world to make sure that she is happy and healthy mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. She in no way feels abandoned, and that’s something that I’ve made sure to stay on top of and be very aware of.”
We’re so glad to hear that.
The Remember the Titans actress furthered:
“She’s very proud of watching her mom and dad kick butt and do what they do. She’s our biggest fan. I think it makes her feel like she can accomplish anything. You can just see that she’s good, that she’s solid, and that she’s loved because of the way she’s able to love herself.”
On the topic, she left off:
“I think there’s been a very common misconception that I just gave up my child, when that could not be further from the truth. I hope people that are watching this, I hope it’s a little clearer. And I hope it becomes clearer in the book.”
Watch more (below):
How do YOU feel after hearing all this? Let us know in the comments down below.
If you or someone you know is experiencing substance abuse, help is available. Consider checking out the resources SAMHSA provides at https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline or check out StartYourRecovery.org
For resources on mental health, visit https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help
[Images via Jay Shetty Podcast/YouTube & Wladimir Klitschko/Instagram]
