Jenny Mollen has broken her silence following her split from Jason Biggs.
As you know, she and the American Pie actor announced their split earlier this month after 18 years of marriage. And in a new Substack article, which she titled DON’T TELL ME WHAT IT IS, out on Monday, she reflected on her life and her shortcomings.
In the very personal essay, Jenny looks back at her sixth birthday party:
“When I was six years old, I had a birthday party after school. My mother hung a piñata from her condo balcony, and we all took turns beating it until it exploded across the driveway. Chiclets, Mars Bars, and tootsie rolls flew everywhere while a clown performed, and my mom sipped Coors Light in the corner. I sat in the grass, next to the driveway, ripping through a pile of presents as the festivities raged around me.”
This night, in particular, has followed her throughout her whole life because of a lesson it taught her. She wrote:
“Later that night, I was overcome with this intense sense of disappointment and loneliness. Not because I didn’t get what I wanted, but because the best part of a gift is often wondering what’s inside. I rushed through the whole thing, trying to get all the answers and missing my own party. I think about this birthday a lot, because it taught me a lesson I’ve continuously had to relearn over and over throughout my life.”
Related: What Drove Jason Biggs & Jenny Mollen To Splitsville!
The Cattle Call star reflected on how she spent most of her young life rushing to her next destination — even when her and Jason’s kids, Sid, 12, and Lazlo, 8, were little:
“Everywhere I’ve ever been has felt a little temporary, like a waiting room I’m trapped in before an operation. I thought I’d never survive the years when my children weren’t sleeping through the night. I thought every weekend would be spent trapped inside the hellscape of the Tribeca red park playground. But those moments are behind me, and what’s tragic is that while I was in them, struggling to get out, my life was happening anyway. My kids were growing up, and I was standing in memories that I can now only access through pictures.”
Jenny went on, once again reflecting on how she doesn’t enjoy things until they’re already memories:
“When you’re young and ambitious, or maybe just middle-aged with ADHD, it feels impossible to appreciate anything while you’re in it. The highest highs of my life have all hit like pennies disappearing into a bottomless well. I’d wait- maybe a moment or two for the sound of something landing, but before it ever did, I was on to the next. Hoping that the next thing would finally be the one that cured me- the one that made me feel worthy and validated in a way that has always evaded me.”
It definitely sounds like she’s regretting not fully enjoying her relationship before it ended… So sad.
Wrapping up her article, she left her followers with one thought:
“I leave for Italy on Wednesday, which sounds soooo Eat, Pray, Love considering the current state of my life. But I’m not going to find myself or sleep with some beautiful Italian stranger. I already have two half-Italians at home. I’m actually just going because a friend invited me to her birthday party. It also happens to be my birthday as well. It’s unlikely I’ll see clowns, or Coors Light, or my mom getting buzzed in a corner, but if I come across a piñata, I absolutely intend on beating the s**t out of it.”
Aww… We’re sending so much love her way.
Reactions, Perezcious readers?
[Image via Jenny Mollen/Instagram]
