Lady GaGa may seem unshakably confident — but sometimes, it’s just a really good poker face.
The superstar opened up about some of her insecurities in a new Los Angeles Times profile, revealing that she’s much more like her sheepish A Star Is Born character than fans may realize.
One of GaGa’s biggest insecurities, believe it or not, is sometimes not feeling pretty enough — and those were the raw emotions she faced while shooting the upcoming remake opposite Bradley Cooper.
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Cooper, who also directed the film, wanted GaGa to be “completely open” in this role and have “no artifice.” So, before GaGa filmed a screen test for Warner Bros. in 2016, Cooper asked the pop star to take off her face full of makeup so the camera could capture *Stefani Germanotta*.
GaGa told the Times this de-masking process was exactly what she needed to get in the headspace of Ally, the aspiring singer she plays in the film. She recalled:
“It put me right in the place I needed to be, because when my character talks about how ugly she feels—that was real. I’m so insecure.”
The 32-year-old doesn’t feel ugly all the time, of course. Though the moments GaGa feels the most beautiful have little to do with how she actually looks at the time. She explained:
“To be honest, I think what makes me feel beautiful is when I see happiness in my fans. When I see or hear from them that the music that I’ve made has changed their life in some way, that’s what makes me feel beautiful. Because this is just the outside, you know? And at the end of the day, I could be in a million movies and put out a million songs and everyone could say, ‘She was so beautiful,’ but that’s not really what I want.”
What does she want then?
“I want them to say, ‘I saw that movie and I cried my eyes out and I learned something about myself.'”
Hopefully fans will say both after watching her big screen debut!
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Once an aspiring singer herself, the Born This Way performer says she’s felt the loneliness her character has dealt with over the years, revealing:
“It’s very lonely being a performer. There’s a certain loneliness that I feel, anyway—that I’m the only one that does what I do. So, it feels like no one understands. And the urge to use is because you’re searching for a way to quell the pain. When I first started to perform around the country doing nightclubs, there was stuff everywhere, but I had already partied when I was younger, so I didn’t dabble. I was able to avoid it because I did it when I was a kid.”
But she’s also unlike her character in one huge way — GaGa didn’t need no rocker junkie to make her a star!
“When we meet Ally, she’s given up on herself. And that’s very different from me. I just wasn’t overwhelmed by the odds. The truth is, if we were not sitting here today and I hadn’t sold as many records as I have, I’d still be in a bar somewhere playing the piano and singing. It’s just who I want to be.”
Remembering how she “hit the concrete running” before she got her record deal and dropped her first album in 2008, GaGa dished:
“I was dragging my piano from dive bar to dive bar to play music. I was calling people, faking being my own manager to get gigs. I really believed in myself that I could do this and that I wasn’t going to stop until I made it.”
That’s how this star was born — insecure, maybe, but not a doubt in the world.
[Image via WENN]
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