So many peens! So little time!
With the majesty that is Magic Mike debuting Friday, we thought it’s only fitting if we catch you up to date on all the dickalicious stories!!
So sit back and relax… because you’re about to get the best prelude to Joe Manganiello‘s nekkid body ever …AFTER THE JUMP!
First…
We discovered the buried jewels of Joe Man, Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, Matt Bomer, and Matthew McConaughey in the NSFW trailer! Warning: Shadow Peen!
Then…
Matthew spoke candidly on his movie manscaping. Needless to say, we’re pretty sure it’s gonna rival Edward Scissorhands‘ trimmed bushes! Ha!
And then…
Though we’ve seen him flex his pecks on True Blood, we’ve never seen his sword of sex (unless you count the shadow monster in the trailer). So needless to say, we’re majorly pumped for his full monty in the movie! And guess what… he LOVES being nakie! So maybe we’ll see more of it in the future!
Shortly after…
Charming totally denied all of those silly stripper thief accusations! Because he’s original… and he would never steal anyone’s stories… because he’s one of the greatest human beings… ever.
AND THEN… THE PREMIERE HAPPENED!! Humanity was saved at L.A. Live that day….
Also, we witnessed Alex’s adorable virgin stumble on the catwalk.
Oh! Did we mention the peen party is going to Broadway? Because it is.
We then got to enjoy…
Alcide Joe Man dance for Kathy Lee and Hoda… making our eyes emeraldize and our excitement (for the movie) grow! 😉
Followed shortly after by…
Charming flash-mobbed the Today show… and our lives were practically made at that point. What a farewell present, Ann Curry! What a gift!!
Speaking of fabulous talk shows, Perez and The Talk ladies stood up for every woman’s right to strip clubs. Yeahh… you know you wanna watch that highlarious clip!! 😉
And later that day, Alex revealed he did some research for his part by goin’ to da clubz and paying men to juggle their jewels in his face. Just another reason we love him!
And finally…
Everyone who values true art will be spending their calories on movie theater popcorn and slingin’ dolla dolla bills at screens!!
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