Matt Lauer Will Host Today Till The Day He Dies


No, Ryan Seacrest is not replacing Matt Lauer as a newer, sleeker Today host model, as it seems Matt’s ass is locked to that hosting seat FOREVER for the foreseeable future.
Matt said on-air this morning:

“This is my family, this is my show├óΓé¼┬ªlet├óΓé¼Γäós keep going.”

Steve Capus, president of NBC News and keeper of the keys to Matt’s ass has said:

“Matt is the franchise, and our franchise player has decided to keep leading our team.”

Franchise that ass!
[Image via WENN.]