Welcome back, folks!! In this week’s edition of the CRAZIEST SHOW ON EARTH, we have some exciting news to share!!
Apparently Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are trying to compete with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for biggest wedding of the year with their secret secret plans!!
…well! They’re obviously gonna win with those In-N-Out burgers! Unless of course Brangie decides to cater with Umami… in which case, sorry Robsten!! Ha!
ONWARD!!
Did you know Kate Middleton is pregnant?? Everyone keeps dogging her for being so skinny, but as soon as she gets a lil’ bump in the tummy, she HAS TO BE PREGNANT!! She just has to be (because god forbid she’s only put on a lil’ weight)!! Make way for the future king or queen of England, people! Make way!!
Speaking of babies, one of the Teen Moms is pregnant again too!! Oh man… what’s new?? Oh, we know! So is Khloe Kardashian! Congrats, gurl! You’re already on your 27th one and your body still looks FANTASTIC!
BUT IN NOT SO ADORABLE NEWS…
Mary-Kate Olsen is reportedly dating a 42-year-old! They say his ex-wife calls their love “grotesque” while friends warn he’s a “womanizing love rat!” Be careful, gurrrl!
Oh and if you’re missing Emily from The Bachelorette, look no further than your local grocery store check-out lane! That’s where you’ll find the latest chapter in her biography!!
AND LAST… BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST…
As if Brangie didn’t have enough competition with the Robsten wedding, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are TOTALLY eloping! Totally, guys. Totally.
She’s just gonna rent a fairy godmother to speed up her divorce and they’ll be on an island saying “I Do” in no time!! Ha!