Woah! What's up with your eyes, Chris Martin?

Oh wait, we know. Your wife Gwyneth Paltrow has your balls in a dead lifeless grip telling you if she finds out you cheated on her you'll be castrated.

We kid. We kid.

The Coldplay frontman was actually at an event in London Thursday night hosted by Harper's Bazaar.

Kate Bosworth was nowhere in sight.

[Image via WENN.]

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It was just announced that Gwyneth Paltrow will be replacing Charlize Theron in The Danish Girl. The film is about the first post-operative transsexual.

Nicole Kidman will be portraying Einar Wegener, husband of artist Greta Wegener. The story goes that Einar stood in for a female model was set to paint. The portrait was such a success that Greta encouraged her husband to continue posing as a woman and in 1931, he shocked the world by undergoing a sex change operation.

If every man who had a sex change operation came out looking like Nicole Kidman, there would be a lot more yoni walking around!

It seems like this a much deeper film than either of them has ever attempted. We're excited to see how it works out.

[Image via WENN.]

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Well, of course he is going to deny it!

If it's true, his wife is going to be pissed and throw tons of her GOOP at him.

We told you yesterday that a source confessed to Star magazine seeing Coldplay's leading man, Chris Martin, making out with Kate Bosworth at an unnamed event, while still being married to Gwyenth Paltrow.

This morning, a rep for the singer announced that the story was completely false and that he and Gwyn are "more than fine."

HOWEVER, the rep does admit that Kate and Chris were both at an event recently and were spotted together. The rep explains: "She may have been in the same room with him, but he is not having an affair, was not kissing her or holding her hand."

Is that the whole truth or do we sense a hole in that truth?

[Image via WENN.]

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There must be something in the air! So many cheating scandals lately!

Chris Martin, Coldplay frontman and Gwyneth Paltrow's husband, was reportedly seen making out with a blonde that wasn't his wife!

Eyewitnesses are claiming that he was kissing actress Kate Bosworth, who has been recently romantically linked to True Blood's Alexander Skarsgard.

A witness says:

"I couldn't believe my eyes. There was Chris totally making out with Kate in front of other people. At first I thought it might be Gwyneth, but when she came up for air, it was clear the woman was Kate!"

Sounds like Gwynnie's perfect marriage could be on the rocks!

[Image via WENN.]

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It seems there may be more to Madonna dropping her trainer Tracy Anderson!!!

According to her former flame, Glynn Barber, she swindled him out of $1 million and forced him onto bankruptcy.

He is suing the trainer for investing in two fitness studios, a DVD and a Mercedes, while refusing to pay him a return on her profits!

"She used her female charms to manipulate me to invest $1 million in her company," said Barber. "I was an easy target. She told me she was a Power Ranger. She told me she was in the musical 'Cats' for four years. She said her ex-husband, Eric, played for the Knicks . . . None of this turned out to be true."

And when Anderson started training Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna in 2007, the couple split up and he was elbowed out of the profits.

"I made Madonna's fitness equipment for $13,000 and Tracy sold it to her for $26,000. She made a fortune from using Madonna's name," Barber continued, who is an engineer and machinist.

But, he knows things could be worse for him!! He could be Anderson's current boyfriend, Philippe van den Bossche, who quit his job as head of Madonna's Raising Malawi charity to pursue his relationship.

"I wish there was some way to inform her new boyfriend that he is playing with 'The Cobra.' Tracy absolutely has some voodoo capability," said her scorned ex.

Wowsa!

Hope Madge didn't get screwed out of any money!!!

Even if she did, it's not like she'd miss it!

[Image via WENN.]

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Dear Gwyneth, you are no Martha Stewart!

But it's fun to watch her try and FAIL.

Watch (above) Chris Martin's wife make a "quick" roast chicken and potatoes with a simple salad.

And next week, she will show you all about coffee colonics!

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Gwyneth Paltrow is said to be "seething" after recent promotional material for the upcoming Iron Man featured co-star Scarlett Johansson and not her.

ScarJo and Robert Downey, Jr - along with Mickey Rourke - are on the cover of the new issue of Entertainment Weekly. No Gwynnie!

There have been rumors of contention between the two female stars, but Paltrow's spokesperson claimed that she was "not at all upset."

Lies!

[Image via WENN.]

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We're tired of Gwyneth Paltrow thinking she knows everything about everything.

Someone needs to bring her down a peg or two!

Today, the actress is giving her two cents about love and relationships. Right, like we're going to take relationship advice from someone who let two major hunks slip right through her fingers (you'll recall she dated Ben Affleck and was engaged to Brad Pitt for some time). Well, okay, ONE major hunk!

She writes to her most beloved GOOP newsletter: "A long-term relationship between two people is an ever-evolving organism. Some stay the course, some fall, all stumble."

How insightful. Get that out of fortune cookie, did you?

You know, just because your marriage to Chris Martin has lasted, what five years, does not make you an expert. When you make it 20 years, then come preach to us.

Till then, shut your hole!

[Image via WENN.]

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She just loves the country so damn much! Gwyneth Paltrow might love Spain more than she loves her husband, Chris Martin, which sounds silly, but is factual.

The Oscar-winning actress may soon be making home there in the Iberian Peninsula with her Coldplaying hubby and her two adorable kids.

Gwyn has just been given a plot of land outside Madrid from a family she spent time with as a teenager, while learning the language. She is said to be very excited to immerse herself in the culture once more, as Spain is apparently quite superior to America.

Adios, Gwyn.

Don't let immigration kick you in the ass on your way out!

[Image via WENN.]

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