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Rumer Willis Plays With A Giant Machete In Her Bra & Panties For Tyler Shields!! See It HERE!

Filed under: Rumer WillisFashion SmashionSkin

See Rumer Willis get sexy with a sword for fashion photographer Tyler Shields!

What do you get when you pair Rumer Willis and fashion photographer Tyler Shields?

Pictures of a seXXXy lady playing with dangerous weaponry in a desolate landscape, obvi!!

But instead of Rumer using the machete in her grasp for cutting through bush (not that kind of bush!) or slaying her foes, she pushes down on it like someone about to give CPR to a very erect sword.

Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation requires a VERY similar hand configuration!

Not to mention that the daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis wears barely anything and looks up to no good. HAWT!!

But that’s not all — there are even MORE seksi photos from the shoot of Rumer hanging out in her bra. See for yourselves (below)!

P.S. To read about his new book, The Dirty Side Of Glamour, sit your pretty self down and CLICK HERE!!

[Image via Tyler Shields.]

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Jessica Alba Runs Errands & Stiffens Boners In The Beverly Hills Heat! See Pics HERE!

Filed under: Jessica AlbaCute!

jessica alba runs errands milf purple beverly hills sighting

Watch out, lady lovers, your favorite MILF from Machete is on the prowl!

And by prowl, of course, we means she's running errands, LOLz!!

Jessica Alba looked totally fab as fantastically fierce yesterday as cameras caught her out and about in Beverly Hills!

She first rocked the classic business chic look to perfection, but as temperatures rose she ditched the jacket and took a cooler approach to the sweltering Sun!

We aren't sure where the 32-year-old mother of two was going or why, but we bet it was important — just look at homegurl's game face!!! She was on a mission!

See more sexy pics of the marvelous mamasita (below)!

[Image via Ramey Pix.]

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Dog Violently Attacked With Machete!!

Filed under: Sad SadHealthAttack!DogAnimal Cruelty

This is just AWFUL!

How can human beings like this be allowed to exist in normal society!!

A poor black lab doggy was rescued by the Michigan Humane Society (MHS) after being violently attacked in Detroit…

With a machete!!

The pup was taken in, and is in pain, but is responding well to treatment.

Thank goodness someone called them about the dog or else he wouldn't have lasted very long.

Now, MHS is offering a $2,500 reward for any info that leads to the arrest of the horrible, horrible person who did this.

We hope they find that person and give them the chair!!

Check out the video (above) to see the doggy being helped but beware, it is a bit graphic!

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Mel Gibson Is Evil…In New Machete Kills Trailer!

Mel Gibson gets his crazy eyes on playing the arms dealer villain in the new Machete Kills trailer.

The star-studded sequel to Machete, this movie promises to have everything you could possibly want from a sequel to Machete: nuclear missiles, explosions, and what appears to be the Swiss Army Knife version of the titular machete.

Speaking of "titular," Sofia Vergara plays one of Mel's super soldiers sent to kill Machete. Her weapons of choice? Machine gun breasts, or as Austin Powers might call them, "machine gun jubblies!"

Meanwhile, Charlie Sheen plays the President, who wakes up to a call in the beginning of the trailer sleeping with 3 strippers women. LOL! Bet he had to do a lot of character research for that!

And of course the trailer is filled with classic lines from Danny Trejo's Machete, including one that will probably make AFI's Top Movie Quote list:

"Machete don't tweet."

But does Machete Vine or Instagram? Because we'd follow him in a heart beat!

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Sofia Vergara Flashes Deadly Double-D Tittays In Machete Kills! See The Perky New Poster HERE!

sofia-vergara-machete-kills-poster-killer-boobs-amber-heard-alexa-vega-britney-spears

BritBrit, we love what you've done with your… wait a second, thats not Britney Spears!!

It's Sofia Vergara smuggling deadly weapons in her sweater!

She's the latest pretty poster girl for Machete Kills, following the lovely Amber Heard and Alexa Vega.

The Modern Family star is no stranger to nip-slips, of course, but we've never seen her boobies bust out like this! Wowza!

The concept reminds us of Britney's FIERCE cameo in Austin Powers, but certainly there is room enough in Hollywood for two ladies with killer tits, LOLz!!

See the fresh poster for Robert Rodriguez's upcoming sequel in all of it's seXXXay glory…AFTER THE JUMP!!!

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