The above is a map Peter Trachtenberg created of his cats' movements around his home, using a Google Earth projection and a template of kitty paw-prints.
The result kind of looks like a treasure map, if the treasure were a piece of lint, or the shadow of a cockroach, or an imaginary jaguar, or whatever else cats are ineffectually chasing all the damn time.
1. Leaves house via sliding door
2. hops off deck
3. Pounces repeatedly on something
4. Vanishes into reed by pond
5. Reappears with a small, jiggly creature in it's mouth
6. Owers call her, she breaks into a run, actually, a gallup
7. Drops dead mouse on dead and meows to be let in
Oh no! If these horrific new details are accurate, this story is much worse than we originally realized!!
We're hearing EXCLUSIVE! new reports about what went on late last night/early this morning between Paris Hilton's younger brother & Lindsay Lohan -- NONE of it is good!
Apparently it all started when Barron Hilton ran into LiLo's model boyfriend at an after party located in the Miami mansion where Lindz was staying!
Sources say her BF started talking trash about Lindsay, about how she was crazy and how he couldn't wait to get away from her! Things really got out of control when the 24-year-old Hilton chimed in to agree!
LiLo's occasional bestie Gavin Doyle supposedly overheard Barron call Lindsay a "joke," which is when the you-know-what hit the fan and splattered all over everyone!
Sources say Gavin immediately ran over to the Mean Girls star and informed her of the trash talking. Lindz allegedly "instigated & orchestrated" the beat down that followed by ordering one of her thug to pummel the stuffing out of an unsuspecting Barron!