Macaulay Culkin is the Hollywood troll we need right now!
The former child star roasted the 90th Annual Academy Awards on Sunday night by live-tweeting the prestigious ceremony — all while doing fun things like making ramen, painting his toenails — really anything except actually watching the awards show.
Related: Oscars 2018 — All The Viral Moments!
The 37-year-old kicked off his eight-hour commentary by announcing he would not be tuning into the 2018 Oscars (WHA?), tweeting:
I will be live tweeting the Oscars tonight, but I won’t be watching them.
WHA!?! That’s crazy!
Question: Do you guys have any suggestions for what I should be doing instead of watching the show?
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 4, 2018
What followed were jokes galore, including several shots fired at industry pariahs like James Franco, Casey Affleck, Kevin Spacey, and Harvey Weinstein.
No star or film was safe from Culkin’s crosshairs as the actor continued to make jokes about Lady Bird, Timoth├â┬⌐e Chalamet, host Jimmy Kimmel, and, yes, even himself!
Ch-ch-check out the highlights of Mack’s tweet-spree (below)!
This year’s Fashion Police are now wearing bodycams. #StayWoke #Oscars90
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 4, 2018
EXCLUSIVE: I heard Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein were going to come disguised as a very tall man in a long trench coat but they got busted by security. #Oscars
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 4, 2018
Here’s some things I’m doing instead of watching the #oscars
1. Making ramen pic.twitter.com/gPL0DDtHVP
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 4, 2018
So glad to hear @jimmyfallon is hosting the #Oscars90 ceremony! What a great guy!
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
Oh THAT Jimmy is hosting! Did he ever win Ben Stein’s Money? #ManShow #Oscars
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
I bet Jimmy Kimmel’s humor is so dry tonight it could easily be a #VaginaMonologue @ASTROGLIDE #Oscars
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
#Oscars90 I heard there was a fourth billboard in that movie but it got cut out: pic.twitter.com/hMWU3N50KZ
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
I remember mud bound from when I lived it #Bonaroo2010
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
Here’s some things I’m doing instead of watching the #oscars
3. Playing with myself pic.twitter.com/LOtfu2NMsN
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
Can’t believe the Academy still hasn’t recognized the thriving film industry in Narnia! #ForeignFilm #Oscars
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
Ladybird is my favorite episode of Roseanne since Laurie Metcalf smoked a joint in the bathtub #StashFromThePast #Oscars90
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
Wait, Kobe Bryant won for animated *short*? There’s got to be a joke in there. #Oscars
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
Here’s some things I’m doing instead of watching the #oscars
4. Painting my toenails pic.twitter.com/uMBLTBcOTz
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
WOW! Christopher Plummer is ALSO filling all the seats this year! Kevin Spacey lost ALL his jobs!
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
When I get thirsty from a hard night of Oscar tweeting, I reach for a refreshing Dr. Pepper. Or I would if I HAD ONE.
@DrPepper hmu
(I would also accept Hawaiian Punch.)
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
Casey Affleck couldn’t make it cause he was stuck in the 1950s.
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
James Franco is a disaster. Artists? #CallMeRogen #OrGoldberg #Imnotpicky #Oscars
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
The Disaster Artist was the worst harry potter movie this year #Oscars
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
I’m bummed this is the FOURTH year in a row I was left out of the In Memoriam #Oscars #NotDeadYet
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
Academy Award Nominated Actor Timothee Chalamet is a crisis actor
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
What CAN’T Jennifer Lawrence do? Return my calls for starters…
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
Water takes the shape of whatever container it is in, this entire movie is horse shit. #Oscars
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
Ha! And the Oscar for Best Oscars Commentary By Someone Who Didn’t Actually Watch The Oscars goes to…
For those who enjoyed the actor’s snark, Culkin capped off his tweet marathon by announcing his very own podcast (confirming there is no such thing as a tweet free of hidden motives):
Well… that was fun but now my fingers are bleeding!
This has been a #BunnyEars production. Check out my website @BunnyEarsWeb and my podcast @BunnyEarsPod I wouldn’t recommend it if it wasn’t mine. PEACE! pic.twitter.com/cKGKyrZp3X
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
Hey, that’s showbiz!
[Image via Twitter.]
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