Here's How Amy Schumer Almost Died In A Surfing Accident!

Amy Schumer cracks a LOT of jokes… but the funny lady has had her share of serious situations, too!
In extras from the blonde beauty’s recent Vanity Fair interview, the 34-year-old explained that she actually has a pretty scary surfing story.
The New York native revealed that she wasn’t involved with theater in high school. Instead, she dished about how she spent her free time playing volleyball, and often enjoyed taking a surfboard out on the ocean.
Video: Amy Reveals The Weird Place Jennifer Lawrence Once Peed!
However, the gorgeous gal spilled about one time when she accidentally stabbed herself with a fin from the bottom of her board, saying:

“I have a pretty bad scar on my leg from surfing. Forty-one stitches, three layers. I skegged myself. My whole fin went into my leg, and I had to yank it out. I was by myself.”

Ow ow ow ow!!!
But that’s not all! The Trainwreck star continued the terrifying tale, adding that she was out pretty far in the ocean and almost didn’t find anyone to help her stop the bleeding:

“I had to pick up my board, swim in. It was just about to be winter and no one was on the beach. But I found like one guy with this other guy. I was like, ‘I need you to hold my leg.’ I was delegating. And he held my leg closed with his bare hands├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥just fat and blood coming out. I wish I knew who that guy was, because he saved my life, for sure. He had blue toenail polish and nail polish; he had long stringy hair. And I remember him being beautiful. Anyway, he held my leg closed.”

And while the lovely lady was incredibly frightened by the near-death experience, her dad was also pretty worried when he eventually saw what happened to his little girl:

“I was terrified. I was supposed to go into Manhattan that day with my dad. He was going to come meet me after I surfed for a while. A crowd formed around me and I could see my dad looking for me on the beach. I was like, ‘That’s my dad. But don’t get him. He’s going to freak out. He’s real sensitive. He’s going to cry.’ But they got him. And he just looked at my leg, and he went [makes a sucking sound]. Kind of like sucked his teeth in? And the tide was coming in. So he was like, ‘Put her on the board! Carry her in more!’ And people kept putting towels and towels on me. I was like, ‘I’m not cold├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥there’s a hole in my leg.’ I was making jokes. It took maybe 15 minutes for the ambulance to get there.”

In the moment, the Comedy Central actress admitted she was worried about sharks while she was still in the water. But, she also had plenty of other traumatizing thoughts flashing through her head:

“That was my first thought. That’s why I got right out of there. But my thoughts while I was coming out├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥I remember them. I thought, Well, I’m going to die. I can’t believe I’m going to die like this. Then I’m like, Oh, no [I’m not going to die]├óΓé¼ΓÇ¥but I’m going to lose my leg. And now I’m going to have to go and be a speaker at high schools and, like, motivate people. I was so annoyed about my life. I was just like, Ucchh. And then it was fine.”

Well we’re SO glad Amy ended up okay! And hey, at least now she’ll always have an interesting scar story!
[Image via Annie Liebovitz/Vanity Fair.]