Christina Milian is one of the most positive, energetic people we can think of.
Little did the public know, the 34-year-old singer was once in a horrifically abusive relationship and has been living with the secret of that very dark time since she was 18.
In a new interview with Huffington Post, the Like Me singer opened up for the first time about her painful past relationship that almost took her life:
“My experience happened when I was 18 and I’ve been holding on to this for too long. I lived in fear for a long time. I’m here to save someone. I really want to help other people, especially the youth.”
Related: Christina Talks To Us About Her New Show!
Lil Wayne‘s ex didn’t name her abuser but said they met she was 18 at a New Year’s Eve party:
“My family got back on its feet. I was happy. I met a boy at a New Year’s Eve party. And despite my dad warning that ‘Young boy’s love is not real. Boys are just trying to get into your panties,’ the relationship started quickly. I was 18 and he was 19. He was super funny, with great sarcasm. I’m thinking this happiness is part of the package. But soon his sarcasm turned out to be a bit more dark than I was prepared to get myself into.”
The Dip It Low songstress admitted that the abuse started as jealousy, but soon evolved into more:
“He was great at making me feel bad about anything positive I had ever done. He didn’t say it but his actions were like; ‘I’m going to break you down and you will have nobody to trust but me.'”
The emotional abuse was so bad, her abuser would often threaten the people closest to Christina:
“He’d say, “if you leave me, I’ll bomb your mom’s house.” He always made references to his gang relationships.”
When asked what prompted the first episode of physical abuse, the mom-of-one responded:
“I remember waking one morning and he was kicking me and stomping on me. It was over nothing. He accused me of lying about a boy. Then the violence escalated. When we had arguments he would choke me and kick me. I stayed with him in a house in Laurel Canyon hills, with no one around, and there were times when I ran half naked, with no phone, out of the house after him beating me up. I would run. Then, I would see his car lights coming at me, to run me over. The days when I would gain strength to leave him, he would call me and say he was going to kill himself – literally! He had a gun and shot the gun, then acted like he was dying. I’m on the phone and can’t do anything, so I called the police. He’d put fake blood on the floor and say he was dying. Another time he said that he found out that he had cancer and was dying. He would make me feel bad and that I was needed.”
Wow. This breaks our hearts.
Despite the abuse, Christina couldn’t leave the relationship:
“I know that my dad not being in my life made a huge impact on me. I was brainwashed that I couldn’t do anything without him. I stayed based on fear that he would hurt my family. He convinced me that I was nothing without him. I was insecure. He had me believe that everyone else was the enemy. Yet, a little voice in my head said this is wrong. If you stay you will die.”
It even got to the point where she was making excuses for unexplained bruises:
“People would see bruises and I would make excuses like I went paintball shooting. In fact, I stopped talking to my family to be with him. I remember being that girl in the middle of the gas station trying to call 9-1-1 or my mom and he had me by my hair pulling me back. People would just watch but not know how to help. (Christina began to cry during interview) All you hope for is that someone would save you because you don’t know how to save yourself. You don’t know what he will do because he’s gotten in your head saying ‘I will kill you. I will kill your family.’ I was afraid of dying.”
Ugh.
The abuse happened so regularly, Christina can’t put a number on how many instances, but she remembers two attacks where her abuser nearly took her life:
“One time he played Russian Roulette on me. He put one bullet in a gun and pointed it at my face. When you have a gun in your face, all you can think about is your family and people who love you. Also, I didn’t think that if I went for help he would receive treatment or even be arrested. Another time, he nearly killed me. I woke up to him choking me to the point I was barely able to scream out. Whatever I found in my reach, I grabbed and hit him with it. I still didn’t know where to go. Your daily life is: ‘How am I going to survive? But I love this man. I can’t live without him but I can’t live with him.’ I was so torn.”
Fortunately, even though it was extremely hard, Milian was able to escape her abuser with the help of her mom:
“My mom got me a ticket with the help of the record label to go to New York and spend time with family and get back to work. I cried the night I decided to leave. The next morning, I took the first flight to New York and asked my mom to have all my numbers and information changed before I landed. I left him a message on the way to the airport – ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ He’d heard it many times before so he probably didn’t believe me. I knew that if I spoke to him I would have changed my mind. When I got to the hotel that night it took every bit of my strength and courage not to call him. I was hungry for him.”
Now, Christina is back on top with her reality show and new EP. She is working with the Stop Attack app to hopefully help people in violent situations:
“There are a lot of girls going through this. It happens way more often than we think. This is your choice to live or die.”
This is an incredibly tragic story and we are so proud of Christina for using her platform to help other young women in similar situations.
[Image via WENN.]
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