Why Filming Netflix's Cheer Left La'Darius Marshall In A 'Dark Place'

La’Darius Marshall wasn’t in the highest of spirits after filming Netflix’s Cheer.

As fans know, the hit reality show gave viewers a glimpse into the world of competitive cheerleading at Navarro College in Texas. But starring in the docu-series wasn’t all fun and cheers for La’Darius; on the contrary, the 21-year-old was left in a “dark place” after revealing some painful memories for the cameras.

In his interviews throughout Cheer, the athlete revealed that he was sexually abused by an older boy when he was a child. Unfortunately, sharing his truth with the world wasn’t exactly a healing experience — at least not right away.

While speaking to The Cut, Marshall said that the act of opening up to viewers about the abuse made him stop eating and drinking, which caused him to lose weight. He shared:

“I never wanted to be perceived as a victim. I don’t like the word… I know what I’ve been through, but look how far I made it… I don’t have to have shields on — I just should live… You’re gonna miss out on your blessings if you don’t allow people to come in.”

Although confronting his “inner demons” wasn’t easy, Marshall said it made him realize that emotions aren’t a bad thing. He continued:

“They tell you it is socially unacceptable to talk about it and you’re being a wuss if you do, and I just don’t see how that culture is even close to being healthy. That’s like me going through my entire life and not telling my story.”

Suppression is never the answer!

Thankfully, Marshall had some inspiration to help him through this tough internal battle: a wise sage we know as Nicki Minaj.

He added:

“Watching [Nicki] go through a lot of stuff in life and still make it and still smile and still keep going… taught me how to do that. Because there was a time where I literally thought I was not going to make it. I thought I was already done. But I always had Nicki Minaj.”

He also had cheerleading, of course — a passion that always helps Marshall’s spirit thrive. He said:

“When I’m performing, you’re going to see me. In that moment, the kid in me is like, ‘You’re going to see me whether you like it or not.’ And I feel like that kid is finally gone. He definitely got what he wanted. He definitely feels free.”

Sadly, Marshall’s cheerleading career has been cut short, as the coronavirus pandemic has led to the cancellation of the annual cheer competition in Daytona, Florida.

He said of the unexpected turn of events:

“I’m just taking it day by day and accepting that this is yet again another one of God’s plans for me. I love Navarro with all of my heart and cherish every moment we had together… I’m already 21. To me, that’s old, and it’s time to give it up… And my body? I can feel it coming.”

But he’s already looking forward to new beginnings. When asked what’s next for him, Marshall told the outlet he wants “to be something different,” and has his sights set on either going into radiology or becoming an actor.

He said of acting: