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Rob Lowe Doesn't Golf Anymore After Accidentally Killing Iowa's State Bird — While It Was In Flight!!

Filed under: TV NewsZportzSad SadConan O'BrienRob LoweGolfBirdsCrazzzzy

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Rob Lowe is a truly powerful man.

He has the power of fame and fortune, the power of a supremely handsome face and the power to kill flying birds with golf balls!

Rob went on Conan recently to reveal he hasn't played golf in a long time, ever since… the incident.

Back in 2007, Rob was playing in a celebrity tournament in Iowa. At one point, he "hit a really – I thought – nice sand wedge" which sent his golf ball rocketing through the air and right into a flying American goldfinch!!

[ Related: Shy Bladder Group Mad At Rob Lowe! ]

That's like a million to one shot! What's even crazier is that was also Iowa's state bird! Oh noes!!

The tournament sponsors crunched some numbers and figured out that the odds of Rob hitting a bird mid-air were one out of

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Cristiano Ronaldo's Ballsy Hometown Statue Stands At Half-Mast!

Filed under: ZportzCristiano RonaldoSoccer

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This sculptor clearly knows what he or she was doing!

Cristiano Ronaldo's hometown of Funchal in Madeira, Portugal decided to pay tribute to the Adonis-like soccer player with a statue over the weekend.

And we're going to go ahead and assume it is 100% anatomically correct. Or maybe even 110% since this statue seems to be going the extra mile inch!

[ Photos: Actors Who Should Show Their Peen In A Movie ]

We're not exactly sure what they were thinking when they carved out his bronzed balls, but we're not complaining either!

So, if you fetishize sculptures, then feel free to add this one to the spank bank!

[Image via Cristina Ferreira/Facebook.]

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Teen Admits To Rubbing His Testicles On A Customer's Pizza!! And The Reason Why Will ENRAGE You!

teen pizza balls arrested

This is awful!

And makes us kind of never want to eat pizza again!!!

A pizzeria called Georgetown's Papa Murphy's Pizza in Texas may have a shortage of customers once this story gets passed around the neighborhood!

Apparently a teenage employee at the pizza shop admitted to rubbing his, *ahem*, testicles all over a customer's pizza, but his reasons for such an atrocious act are seriously confounding!

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Male Birth Control Is Just Around The Corner! But It's Not A Pill…

Filed under: Baby BlabberHealthMedicineScience!Sex

Male birth control is literally just around the corner! Human clinical trials are up next!!

…and it's not the withdrawal method.

It's Vasalgel! The non-hormonal version of birth control for men!

It's a gel that gets injected into the vas deferens, the tube that connects the balls to the pee pee tube. Basically, its a polymer gel that blocks the sperm superhighway.

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Justin Theroux Finally Addresses His, Ehem, Distracting Package! Awkwardly Adorable!

justin theroux bulge jogging mister scandal

The Leftovers on HBO is buzzed about almost every week…

But since the beginning, the main thing on everyone's mind had to be Justin Theroux's ample package! LOLz!

Fans might remember a scene where Justin jogged in grey sweat pants, as his man-meat bounced back and forth — distracting viewers, and admittedly, co-star Liv Tyler!

Well, leave it up to Conan O'Brien to have the balls (pun intended) to ask about the exercise moment on his show last night.

And the rest is awkward history!

Ch-ch-check out the clip (below) and laugh along to the ball talk!

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Balls Rain Down From The Sky! Pilot Accidentally Drops 3,000 Ping Pong Balls Where?!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True

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Talk about your balls dropping!

A pilot was supposed to drop 3,000 ping pong balls over a crowd for a prize-related stunt! Yeah, the keywords there? "Supposed to."

The aviator made his special delivery instead on a nearby highway, raining down tiny white spheres onto an interstate with high speed traffic.

Organizers of the event quickly called off the contest, and told people not to risk life and limb just to get run over by traffic trying to get a small prize.

Instead, they just passed out the prizes, as was the original plan.

Some ping pong balls could have been traded in for candy, some $100 gift certificates! However, they all were turned into siege projectiles that fell mercilessly down upon a highway.

Apparently, this was a new pilot for the event this year but didn't quite understand the physics of the drop. Ping pong balls reportedly lose speed quickly and just go straight down when dropped.

Police aren't pressing charges on this poor pilot. He's probably suffered enough embarrassment over this faux pas.

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Bride Sues Doubletree Hotel After Man Shows Whole Wedding His Balls!

bride sues doubletree hotel after man shows whole wedding his balls

These are not the memories one wants to have on their wedding day!

Bride Anna Rogers Murphy and her parents are looking for "actual and punitive damages for negligence and emotional distress" because during the ceremony "a depraved man…stood above the ceremony flashing his genitalia."

The event happened in Charleston, S.C at a local Doubletree hotel and the hotel staff had promised the wedding organizers that their ceremony of getting hitched would go off without any hitches!

But since the balls were dropped into plain sight, now that Doubletree hotel is getting sued!

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