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Ashton Kutcher Has A Huge Dong Ringing The Opening Bell At The New York Stock Exchange!

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We can hardly BEAR how adoraBULL Ashton Kutcher looked ringing the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange.

Let it be known on the ticker tape, that he can ring our bell any day of the week (as long as it's in the fiscal year).

One of the iconic Two and a Half Men visited Wall Street in order to promote the upcoming Steve Jobs biopic jObs! We hope that by giving the stock market a little star power he was able to promote the other type of jObs as well.

Sigh! It's too bad that this was probably the last time Ashton was on the market. Ashton, we could've shared something! For like 10 dollars a share! What, we're not pricey! We are into stocks and bond(age) though…

We hope that by the time the movie premieres on August 16th, people will be yelling "buy, buy, buy" at their movie phone app (available on Apple's iPhone and iPad), and that movie theaters will be sell, sell, selling out opening weekend!

[Image via PNP/WENN.]

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Robert Pattinson Works It On Wall Street! Rings The NYSE Opening Bell!

Looks like Robert Pattinson is having one hell of a busy week!

Last night, he premiered his new flick, Cosmopolis in NYC and also gave his first interview since the KStew scandal on The Daily Show!

While tomorrow he’ll be on Good Morning America, THIS morning he got to stop by the New York Stock Exchange!

Check out R-Patz (above), looking as handsome as ever, ringing the opening bell with director David Cronenberg!

He can ring OUR bell anyday! LOLz!

We’re glad to see our shimmering Twilight vamp seems to be holding up just fine…or at least he's keeping himself busy!

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Underwater Thieves Rob Capsized Cruise Ship!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueSad Sad

Costa Concordia Bell Stolen

Underwater robbers?? What?!

After the cruise ship Costa Concordia capsized off the Italian island of Giglio in January, the Italian coastguard has held the ship under close 24-hour surveillance — 26 feet under water!

This, however, did not stop a couple thieves who somehow got THROUGH the laser security systems and stole the ship’s bell straight from its deck!

The mayor of the island isn't TOO concerned, though, stating:

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2012 London Olympics Opening Ceremony Inspired By The Tempest

Filed under: Paul McCartneyOlympics

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First we heard Sir Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Sir Mick Jagger, and John Lydon from the Sex Pistols were teaming up to perform at the 2012 London Olympic games, which was exciting enough, but this just keeps getting better and better!

Academy Award winning director Danny Boyle is serving as the ceremony's artistic director and revealed that the show has been inspired by William Shakespeare's The Tempest!

Boyle described the show's narrative as the recovery of land that has been poisoned by industrial legacy. The ceremony will commence with the ringing of a specially commissioned bell inscribed with a line from The Tempest: "Be not afeard; the isle is full of noises."

The "Isle of Wonders" themed live production on July 27th will last longer than 3 hours and also features the creative talents of director Stephen Daldry.

This is shaping up to be a pretty extravagant start to the Olympic games! Are U excited or what?

[Image via WENN.]

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