Taylor Swift Was Almost IMPALED By Ed Sheeran's Sword! Find Out WTF Happened HERE!

We know, we know!
We totally set that one up to sound much dirtier than it actually is!
Sorry, folks! Ed Sheeran is STILL not romantically involved with Taylor Swift, despite how flattered he is by the rumors!
And something tells us after this whole ordeal, she’s probably a little weary of getting ANYWHERE too close to him…so long as he’s wielding a prop sword from the Lord of the Rings franchise, personally gifted to him by director Peter Jackson himself!
Confused yet?!
Allow the adorably ginger rocker explain himself how he accidentally took his tour-mate and musical collaborator out with his carry-on weapon while the pair shared a private flight to Nashville together recently (above)!
As he explains:

“It’s like a real sword. I got it shipped over, shipped over to Omaha, so I was bringing it back to Nashville and I think [Taylor] and her crew were weirded out by it anyway. They were just like, ‘Why does Ed have a sword?’ As the plane started to take off, it was on the table and it went like this. The plane is kind of taking off and [the sword] started sliding down and I was like, ‘No!’ It was just about to impale Taylor.”

YEESH! Talk about a close call!
But hey! All is well, and everyone was safe and sound, so that’s good!
Might we suggest shipping any dangerous luggage next time though, boo?
That is NOT the kind of carry-on with which we’d be comfortable! Ha!