Gisele Bundchen is proof that nobody’s life is perfect.
The supermodel may certainly seem like she has it all, and has had it all forever, but she’s battled some serious demons in her lifetime, and lived to tell the tale.
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In her new memoir, Lessons: My Path To A Meaningful Life, the 38-year-old reveals that she once battled anxiety so severe she even considered suicide. And now she’s willing to be more forthcoming and share her struggles. In an interview with People, she said:
“Things can be looking perfect on the outside, but you have no idea what’s really going on. I felt like maybe it was time to share some of my vulnerabilities, and it made me realize, everything I’ve lived through, I would never change, because I think I am who I am because of those experiences.”
Things certainly looked perfect when she was the highest-paid Victoria’s Secret Angel and dating Leonardo DiCaprio, but after suffering a panic attack during a flight, she developed a fear of enclosed spaces like tunnels and elevators.
“I had a wonderful position in my career, I was very close to my family, and I always considered myself a positive person, so I was really beating myself up. Like, ‘Why should I be feeling this?’ I felt like I wasn’t allowed to feel bad. But I felt powerless. Your world becomes smaller and smaller, and you can’t breathe, which is the worst feeling I’ve ever had.”
As the attacks got worse, Gisele became plagued with suicidal thoughts:
“I actually had the feeling of, ‘If I just jump off my roof, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about this feeling of my world closing in.’ ”
After visiting a doctor, she decided she didn’t want to rely on medication like Xanax to feel better:
“The thought of being dependent on something felt, in my mind, even worse, because I was like, ‘What if I lose that [pill]? Then what? Am I going to die?’ The only thing I knew was, I needed help.”
It was at this point that she completely changed her lifestyle:
“I had been smoking cigarettes, drinking a bottle of wine and three mocha frappacinos every day, and I gave up everything in one day. I thought, if this stuff is in any way the cause of this pain in my life, it’s gotta go.”
The catwalker also broke up with DiCaprio, after realizing she was feeling “alone” in her new journey. But, she looks back at the relationship with a fondness:
“Everyone who crosses our path is a teacher, they come into our lives to show us something about ourselves. And I think that’s what he was. What is good versus bad? I honor him for what he was.”
Very wise. Thank you, Gisele, for sharing your story.
[Image via Instagram/Gisele]