[Warning: Potentially Triggering Content]
Chappell Roan is opening up about her upbringing… and it’s a harrowing journey.
In a new interview with The Guardian on Friday, the 26-year-old rising star talked about fame, mental health, and her queer identity. Growing up in Missouri, Chappell explained, she was “desperate to feel understood” — but could never really relate to anyone around her:
“I was so desperate to feel understood. I pushed down the gay part of myself so deep because I was like, that can’t possibly be me.”
She said this period in her life felt “very, very lonely.” It didn’t help that she wasn’t exposed to more aspirational representation — just LGBTQ stereotypes:
“When I was growing up, it was like, ‘Gay means flamboyant, gay man’ and lesbian means, ‘Butch girl who looks masculine’. There was not an array of queerness.”
Folks said “it gets better”… But things didn’t get better for a long time. The Hot To Go singer, whose real name is Kayleigh Rose Amstutz, revealed she also struggled a lot with mental illness back then — but the “midwest culture” pushed her to religion rather than actual doctors:
“And I was very mentally ill – suicidal for years – and not medicated, because that’s just not a part of midwest culture. It’s not: ‘Maybe we should get you a psychiatrist.’ It’s: ‘You need God. You need to pray about that.’”
So sad… We’re glad she was able to push through and is still with us today. Mental health is no joke.
Related: Chappell Struggled With Suicidal Ideation As She Started To Gain Fame
Now, following her wild, rapid rise in the spotlight, she’s had the opportunity to seek help for her mental health. The Casual singer revealed she’s been diagnosed with “severe depression”:
“I’m in therapy twice a week. I went to a psychiatrist last week because I was like, ‘I don’t know what’s going on’. She diagnosed me with severe depression – which I didn’t think I had because I’m not actually sad. But I have every symptom of someone who’s severely depressed.”
We’re sending our best to Chappell. We hope she can get the help she needs and come out of this stronger.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, help is available. Consider contacting the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, by calling, texting, or chatting, or go to 988lifeline.org.
To learn more about how you can help the LGBTQ+ community, check out https://www.glaad.org/.
[Image via MEGA/WENN]
