Dog The Bounty Hunter Contemplated Suicide Hours After Learning Of Beth Chapman's Death

Five months ago, Dog The Bounty Hunter lost the love of his life, Beth Chapman, at the age of 51 following her tough battle with stage II throat and lung cancer.

In the time since then, we’ve watched the Dog’s Most Wanted star go through the many stages of grief and take steps to slowly move forward without his bride. But on Wednesday night’s finale of the WGN reality series, fans saw the heartbreaking moment the star (real name Duane Chapman) contemplated taking his own life, just hours after learning of Beth’s passing.

During the episode, the 66-year-old recalled being alone in the shower and needing to “run out without a towel because I can’t be alone right now.”

While speaking directly to the camera, Dog explained how his mind can run rampant with depressive thoughts during those brief moments of solitude:

“That’s when I start thinking about things. And I lay down to take a nap, and I reached over to touch something, and it was the freaking dog. I don’t realize yet psychologically that she’s gone gone and I’ll never, ever see her. I don’t realize that.”

Ugh. Just heartbreaking. We can only empathize with the pain he felt as those heavy feelings set in…

While nothing can replace the loss of a loved one, time can help heal those wounds and it’ll certainly take some more of it for Chapman to begin to feel like himself again.

However, Duane emotionally revealed he hopes he won’t live long enough to see what the rest of his future looks like without Beth. He confessed:

“I just hope that I don’t live very much longer without her, because now she made the first step, she’s through the gate. She paved a way for me. I want to take a goddamn pain pill so bad. I feel like if I did something to myself right now and passed away suicidal and I got to heaven and was like, ‘Hi honey,’ and would she go, ‘You dumb ass, why would you do that?’ Or would she go, ‘Wow, you’re here.’ I’ll be like ‘Of course I’m here. You left me. I’m here.’ So, am I obligated to do that?”

Oh no…

This is so devastating to hear. Watching all of this backdated footage can’t be an easy thing to do, but we hope he listens to what his wife would’ve wanted and chooses a life worth living — not just for himself, but for his kids, extended family, friends, and scores of supporters who are thinking of him daily.

This past September, the bounty hunter was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism, which occurs when one or more arteries of the heart have been blocked by blood. Shortly after receiving the news, Dog opened up about his fear of dying in a televised interview with Dr. Oz and candidly admitted he’s “not afraid to die, but [I] don’t want to.”

Though he’s wary of doctors and hospitals, Dog eventually listened to the medical council and agreed to seek treatment. Additionally, he told People of his decision to change his mindset, adding:

“I hesitated for a minute thinking, I don’t want to have to go through this again. I don’t want to die right now. I’m not afraid to die anymore, but I really didn’t care for awhile if something would happen. I do care now.”

We care, too! Sending so much love to him and his family right now. Keep taking care of your health and your head up, Duane!

If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

[Image via Fayes Vision/WENN]