When you think of Mother’s Day gifts, do you think of flowers? A spa day? A comfy sweater? Or do you just think about which stimulating device would be the best fit for HER VAGINA?!
If you’re Gwyneth Paltrow, it’s apparently the latter. As part of Goop‘s annual Mother’s Day Gift Guide, she included vibrators! Because nothing says, “Mom, I appreciate you” like handing her a brand new tool for jilling off.
The 49-year-old movie star-turned-lifestyle mogul just released her website’s guide for the forthcoming Mother’s Day celebration (which is coming up on May 8 in the US, so plan accordingly, kids!), and we are just a little bit surprised at some of the products being promoted! While some of them are pretty standard fare, including things like jewelry, pajamas, and flowers, the site is also going in an entirely different direction, too!
For one, Goop is pushing EIGHT different vibrator specials for the holiday. EIGHT!!! That means someone at Goop’s job for a day was to pick out an array of pleasuring devices that really screamed MOM with a heart emoji.
Related: Gwyneth’s Former Right-Hand Woman Slams ‘Toxic’ Goop Cleanses!
No word yet on if Gwyneth’s momma Blythe Danner has been gifted one — or if Apple and Moses Martin are going to come through with a little special something for their momma — but there sure is a lot of pleasure for sale on that Goop page! LOLz!
And battery-powered love isn’t all that’s up for offer this year! The site has a full NSFW gift page, promoted with the tag, “To the one who picked up where sex ed left off,” which is actually pretty cute and funny. On that landing page, Paltrow’s team is also promoting a salted caramel-flavored lube for sale and a sexy candle that melts into body oil for the bedroom. Reminder, these are to buy your mom!
We’re not prudes by any stretch of the imagination, and we hope you all — mothers included, of course — have a fulfilling sex life. But still, it’s really something to think about someone giving their own mom a vibrator or some lube at their Mother’s Day celebration!
Just saying!
If you’re curious, the vibrators up for sale include the $200 Ballerina Vibrator from Smile Makers, two different $179 Lelo-brand vibes, a $199 Date Night Set from We-Vibe, a Tabu-branded $135 vibe and lube combo called The Kit, Kiki de Montparnasse‘s $98 Etoile Bullet model, Goop’s very own $95 Ultraplush Self-Heating G-Spot Vibrator, and an $84 Pelvic Clock exercise device.
We’re getting embarrassed just imagining a mom reading those names! LOLz! By the way, if you’re intrigued, you can peruse Goop’s Gift Guide HERE.
Related: Sarah Lawrence College Sex Cult Leader Found Guilty Of DECADE Of Sex Trafficking!
There are plenty of other things on the site for your mom, too, Perezcious readers, including a $731 water pitcher, a $299 beach umbrella, a $787 baby carrier, a $160 towel warmer, and the aforementioned salted caramel-flavored lube that will set you back $55. Hey, that lube is actually pretty cheap compared to some of this stuff!
All this to say that it makes us miss the days of those, ummm, uniquely-scented candles. Ya know?!?!
What do U think of these Mother’s Day gift suggestions from Goop, Perezcious readers?? Sound OFF with your take down in the comments (below)…
[Image via Gwyneth Paltrow/Instagram]
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