Why Harry Styles Was 'Ashamed' Of His Sex Life During The One Direction Years

Maybe the first word that jumps to everyone’s minds when they think of Harry Styles is “sex.” Even for lovers of his talent, his music, his whole vibe, who can help it? The man is sexiness personified!

That makes it all the more surprising and sad that the Watermelon Sugar singer spent the first leg of his superstar journey “ashamed” of his sex life.

In a candid new profile for Better Homes & Gardens (wait, really??), Harry opens up about how when he first became a celebrity as a member of One Direction, he could never feel happy or fulfilled about his success. He explained:

“In lockdown, I started processing a lot of stuff that happened when I was in the band.”

Introspection had reminded him how he had been made to feel like he should give as much of himself away as he could “to get people to engage with you, to like you.” But at the same time he was constantly holding back. Why? As a member of 1D, he was constantly being asked about dating and sex — but there was also a cleanliness clause in his record contract that could cost him everything if he took a wrong step. It caused him to develop a sense of shame about his sex life:

“For a long time, it felt like the only thing that was mine was my sex life. I felt so ashamed about it, ashamed at the idea of people even knowing that I was having sex, let alone who with.”

He had to be careful not just in talking about sex but in having it. After all, someone else could spill everything and tank his career, too, right?

“At the time, there were still the kiss-and-tell things. Working out who I could trust was stressful. But I think I got to a place where I was like, why do I feel ashamed? I’m a 26-year-old man who’s single; it’s like, yes, I have sex.”

When he got his solo contract, the fact it didn’t have a cleanliness contract — and he realized he could just be himself, it was an enormous weight off his shoulders. He exclaimed:

“I felt free.”

But is he really free? Harry has remained very shy about his sexuality in a way. Some have even accused him of queerbaiting for all his posturing — wearing dresses, celebrating pride — while refusing to discuss his sexual preference.

But Harry doesn’t see it that way. He says labeling it at all is a bizarre and “outdated” concept. He explains:

“The whole point of where we should be heading, which is toward accepting everybody and being more open, is that it doesn’t matter, and it’s about not having to label everything, not having to clarify what boxes you’re checking.”

He also allowed, however, that there is a certain level of privacy he still wants in all this:

“I’ve been really open with it with my friends, but that’s my personal experience; it’s mine.”

It’s just the public persona he feels shouldn’t be labeled? On principal? He told The Guardian back in 2019 when asked about the same topic:

“It’s not like I’m sitting on an answer, and protecting it, and holding it back. It’s not a case of: I’m not telling you cos I don’t want to tell you. It’s not: ooh this is mine and it’s not yours. It’s: who cares? Does that make sense? It’s just: who cares? Am I sprinkling in nuggets of sexual ambiguity to try and be more interesting? No… I just think sexuality’s something that’s fun. Honestly? I can’t say I’ve given it any more thought than that.”

As much as he talks about sexuality being “fun” he does seem to take the idea of not putting a label on it pretty seriously. Hmm.

And we just want to say that it’s also freeing to proudly label your sexuality, too. To everyone who identifies as GAY and is proud to wear that “label,” we see you and we DON’T think you’re outdated!

But what do YOU think? Is he right? Is it important to push toward a future where it doesn’t matter? Is that an excuse for privacy? Is this still shame that he’s just not aware of yet?